Knights of the King
by sholvakree
Summary: The story of two extraordinary warriors and the incredible life journey they share with one another. Written for Tokka Week 2012 and inspired by the medieval AU of Tumblr artist cabout, whose work comprises the cover art. Reviews are greatly appreciated.
1. Bending the Rules

**Author's Note: **This seven part fic was originally scripted as part of the 2012 Tokka Week celebration and draws its inspiration from a medieval AU created by a Tumblr artist whom I greatly admire. This work is in no way intended to represent the canon of that universe; the medieval setting merely provided me with a backdrop to write a story that fit the seven prompts (which is why the chapters are rather oddly titled). The world is a weird mashup of the Asian/POC culture of ATLA and traditional interpretations of medieval Europe. The story itself covers roughly a 20 year period in Toph and Sokka's relationship, and all the ups and downs therein. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review or two - I can't improve my writing if I don't know what (if anything) I'm doing wrong.

_Disclaimer: Characters belong to Bryke and Nickelodeon unless otherwise indicated.  
_

* * *

**_A request is granted. The initial meeting of Toph (14) and Sokka (17)._**

* * *

As commanding general of the armies of King Kuei, Iroh Iyagato was no longer required to sit in on the monthly recruitment sessions of the King's Knights. A good general, however, is always cognizant of the quality of the men under his command. It had been many years since Iroh was engaged in active combat, but he knew that the time would come again when the nation required defenders, and he wanted to be sure that the best and brightest were being trained to fulfill that purpose – to protect their king, their country and their fellow citizens.

As the midday sun blazed overhead, Iroh watched as a scruffy-looking girl emerged from the bustling crowds to approach the recruitment station. Her hair was short and scraggly except for long strands in the front that covered her eyes; her feet were bare, her clothes ragged and her body was covered in a healthy layer of dirt.

She stopped in front of the general's table.

"Is this the recruitment table for the King's Knights?" she said roughly.

The two officers sitting next to Iroh looked at each other, looked back at the girl, and then burst out laughing.

"Really?" snorted the one to the left. "You wish to join the King's Knights?"

"Preposterious," began the other. "Child, go back to-"

"Gentlemen," said Iroh, sternly. The flanking officers were immediately silent. "Thank you," he added curtly. He gave the girl a smile. "Welcome young one. Have you the wish to become a member of the King's Knights."

"Yeah," she said dismissively.

"And why would one such as you wish to dedicate yourself to our order?"

The girl shifted from one foot to the other. "My father was a bastard and my mother was a courtesan. They were never much good to me in life and they aren't doing me any favors now that they're dead. I learned how to survive on my own without the charity of others. The powers of survival, of endurance, of freedom – these are the things that the King's Knights can give me. And I can give those gifts to others as well."

"Independence, self-reliance…these are things that we value in our recruits…but can you work within a team? Be willing to throw down your life for another person? We are not always lone wolves, young one."

"I'm sure I can pick up the necessary sentiment," quipped the girl.

The officers next to Iroh both frowned, but the general burst out in laughter. "It seems this knight has a serpent's tongue! But that is not a bad thing. Wit can be a valuable tool in the warrior's arsenal…if used wisely. What of your combat skills?"

"I've had my share of scraps."

"Have you ever held a blade in your life, girl?" barked the lieutenant dismissively.

"Yeah, and I bet I could kick your poncey ass up and down the city, tough guy," she replied coolly.

The lieutenant's face turned purple, but Iroh merely laid a hand on his shoulder and gave him a stern look. His face slowly regained its normal color.

"What is your name, young warrior?" asked the general.

"Fang," replied the girl.

"Come with me, young Fang," said Iroh. The other officers stared gobsmacked as Iroh stood up from the table and walked towards the palace gate; the girl followed close behind him.

(***)

They were almost to the training yard when Iroh made a turn into a deserted corridor.

"Sir, I think we're going the wrong way," she began.

"There are some lovely gardens back this way," replied Iroh. "Your training will leave little time for diversions, so I thought you should see them before your studies begin."

Iroh glanced back at Fang, who seemed uncomfortable at the suggestion. "Sir, with all due, respect, I'm not interested in-"

"You are quite a ways away from home, Lady Beifong," he interrupted with a smile.

The girl froze out of shock and fear. "How did you-"

"You look too well-fed for an orphan, even for those who enjoy the king's charity at the city's orphanages. You are dirty, but you do not have the smell of the streets upon you. Your skin is of the softer flesh common to the nobility. And though you _do_ have a loner look about you, I never forget the face of a Beifong. It's the eyes, mostly – you did well to keep the hair in front long. It dulls the color of your pupils." He studied her face intently. "Fortunately you favor your mother. Your father is…well, I suppose he's handsome _enough_, at least for Lady Poppy…"

"…I…sir, I-" stammered the girl.

"The gardens, Lady Beifong. When last you visited the city my nephew took you to see them, and he told me you were quite fond of them. And no one will be able to hear us talk, you can be assured of that."

He held out his hand.

"Shall we?"

(***)

The two wandered around the King's exotic flower collection until they came upon an elaborate stone bench. Once they were seated, a frowning Iroh began to speak.

"You place me in a difficult position, Lady Toph…may I call you by your given name?"

"…it's fine. Sir," she replied bewilderedly.

"Ah, that is wonderful! Now my lady, I would be more than happy to accept you as a trainee in the King's Knights. But the rules stipulate that one must have permission from one's parents or guardians, unless they are otherwise deceased or unknown." Iroh smiled. "And we both know that your parents are neither dead nor unknown." He raised an eyebrow. "And while it was clever to give yourself low-born parentage as a means to disguise yourself, I am curious as to why you'd call your father a bastard and your mother a courtesan."

"Because my father _is_ a bastard and my mother is no better than a glorified courtesan," she growled in response.

Iroh happened to share this opinion, but he merely raised his other eyebrow in supposéd shock. "I am also curious as to what actions would prompt such disrespect from a daughter towards her elders."

Toph held her head in her hands and let out a groan of frustration. "You wouldn't understand."

"Give me time and opportunity, and I will do my best," said Iroh, laying a hand on Toph's shoulder.

Toph turned to look at him. "Alright," she said softly. "You know my father is a cousin of the king, correct?"

"But of course. He's never been afraid to mention it, if given the opportunity."

"Yeah, tell me about it," she snorted. "It's made him rich as hell too, maybe richer than the king himself."

"His Majesty has the wealth of the realm behind him," said Iroh.

"Yeah, but we both know that's the _realm_. I mean, Kuei's personal fortune-"

"_King_ Kuei's fortune," corrected Iroh.

"Kuei's personal fortune," replied Toph, feigning ignorance, "while impressive, is still dwarfed by my father's own holdings. So anyone who is friends with my father has the potential to wield some serious power and influence. What better way to ensure the aid and goodwill of the Beifongs than to marry their precious daughter?" She snorted. "Selling off my womb, more like it. Now that I've had my moon's blood they've been dropping hints – pretending to be _subtle_ about it, like I'm too _stupid_ to understand what's going on, and that I'm supposed to be happy when they finally order me off to be some stranger's seed receptacle."

Iroh, who was unused to such language from noblewoman, could only blink and cough in response.

"In all fairness, if _I_ was going to barter _me_ away, I'd pick your nephew. Father has big trading partners in the western regions who could use Ozai's patronage, the shifty bugger." (Iroh also agreed with this assessment but remained silent). "The king needs a good reason to keep Ozai on his leash, and even though your brother hates your nephew's guts he won't risk insulting Father by alienating Zuko. After all, if he shuns my lord husband I'll be expected to stand by him," added Toph, and she made a face.

"You have an exceptionally good grasp of politics," said Iroh in admiration.

"For a woman?" said Toph suspiciously.

"For anyone," said Iroh with a smile.

Toph smile was sad. "But my parents don't care about that. They don't care that I've read the histories of every ruler from Xiawyi the Mighty to Queen Adias of the Pale Lands. They don't care that I snuck out of lessons to watch the guardsmen drill and then secretly practiced combat forms by candlelight and bribing the newer recruits to spar with me. They don't care that I've _worshiped_ Sir Kyoshi of Fairglenn ever since I read the story of her fight with Chin the Barbarian and wanted nothing more than to _be_ her. Marriage, and the marriage bed, and the birthing bed are all anyone's ever expected of me. I don't want that to be my life. _I can't do that. I just _**can't.**" She took a deep breath. "When the monthly trader caravan from the Icereach stopped by on their way to the capital, I packed some minor provisions, disguised myself and came here hoping to join the Knights. So there it is."

For a moment, the only sound was the rustling of the leaves and grass.

"It is an honorable thing to be a wife and mother, to take care of house and home, of a spouse, of children," began Iroh kindly. "It is a duty that we must fulfill in order to ensure the growth of a new generation, one who will continue to protect the world that we have built for ourselves. Would it be such a bad fate? I would be overjoyed to have someone who is as intelligent, capable and resourceful as you are for a mother – someone who rises to meet the challenges presented to her, someone with drive and passion and dedication. Duty is a hard mistress," he conceded, "but it often yields its own rewards." He paused. "And you would not be the first to face the choice between dreams and duty. I myself had to sacrifice the former for the latter."

"…_you_?" said Toph in surprise.

"Me," said Iroh, seriously. "In my youth, I showed an exceptionally gifted talent for making tea; for picking quality tea leaves; for having excellent timing in heating and brewing; for blending various leaves, adding herbs and spices to complement or accentuate different flavors. When guests came to see my father, Azulon, I was given the task of preparing the tea served during audiences, meetings and all meals. By the time I reached manhood, I was firmly set on opening my own tea shop."

"So what happened?"

"I made the mistake of telling my father, and he outright forbade it. He said that it was my duty to join the King's Knights, to train with them and then defend the realm if necessary. I would focus on my studies and learn how to shoulder the burdens of ruling. 'You are going to be the Lord of the Scorched Plains one day, not some lowly merchant peddling hot water,' he snapped. If I wished to continue this 'fool's folly' as he called it, it would be done without the family's name or money. I would have left that very night were it not for one small thing."

"What was that?" asked Toph.

"My brother," said Iroh grimly. "I could not in good conscience renounce my family and leave Ozai as heir to the Scorched Plains and all the people therein. So with a bitter heart I buried my dream and a week later I set off for Ba Sing Se." He gave a far-off look. "The irony, of course, is that Ozai gained the Scorched Plains anyways and though I would challenge him for lordship of the domain, after all this time I feel honor-bound to remain with the King's Knights until I am unable to serve or am otherwise incapacitated, though there is no obligation that prevents me from leaving the order."

"I…I didn't know," stammered Toph.

"It is not a story I have shared with many people," said Iroh matter-of-factly. "Though it is well-known that I argued with my father before I left home, the subject of the conversation has remained a secret. But do not take my remorse for dissatisfaction with my life as a King's Knight – it has been a wondrous journey, and one that I would gladly take again. I certainly hope that you will discover this for yourself.

"You mean…" began Toph, her eyes widening, "…you'll let me join the Knights?"

"I cannot."

Toph's face fell.

"Not without testing you first."

Toph's heart rose.

"If I am to bend the rules and admit you without the knowledge of your parents – very powerful parents who could make life quite difficult for the Knights – I must make sure that you are worth the trouble. Not that I think you aren't capable," said Iroh deferentially after Toph gave him a dirty look. "But even an old soldier like me must play the politician every now and then. Surely you understand."

To his surprise, Toph smiled. "Yeah. I do. So," she said, rising from the bench, "what do I have to do?"

(***)

The training yard was filled with the clacking of wood, the thuds of stuffed dummies and the ringing of steel.

As Iroh walked Toph through the group of recruits and knights, many of them stopped their work to greet the general, who called each of them by name; he would ask the recruits about their progress and any injuries they received; the knights he would clasp on the shoulder and ask them about their families and loved ones. Toph and Iroh finally stopped in front of a shirtless young man with dark brown skin (he was about three years older than her by Toph's reckoning), who was currently thrusting at a dummy equipped with a large iron shield.

"Sokka, there's someone I'd like you to meet," said Iroh.

The boy named Sokka turned to face the two visitors. Toph was surprised at how brilliant his eyes were – bright blue, like the sky – but there was such _sadness_ in them as well – it was the subtle kind, but Toph recognized it _instantly_.

It was a look she'd seen countless times in the mirror.

"This is Fang," began Iroh. "She wishes to join the King's Knights, but I require a demonstration of her abilities before I can make a judgment as to whether she has the ability to 'go the distance,' as it were. You are our best recruit, and I sense that she is one who requires a challenge in order to fully tap into her potential. Would you…?"

"Of course – anything for you General Iroh," said Sokka, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Will we be fighting with live steel or…?"

"I think training blades will suffice. I wouldn't want you to get hurt," said Iroh with a chuckle.

To Toph's surprise, Sokka laughed as well. "I promise you I'm not as clumsy as I used to be. Unless it involves tea. Then I'm just a total disaster."

"Tea?" said Toph quizzically.

"Broke three of the general's favorite teapots. I don't know, it's something about me and heated objects – even lukewarm ones – we just don't get along."

"I suppose that makes bathing difficult, what with using hot water and all...certainly smells like it," said Toph, making a point of audibly sniffing the air.

"It's an ongoing process," said Sokka knowingly. "Of course, that's on the occasions when we have hot water. It's mostly cold here. Yup! Cold water! Builds character. More like 'build tiny icicles all over my body.'"

Toph giggled. _This guy is funny_.

"Well, I suppose we should fight now," said Sokka abruptly. "Hey Haru!" he yelled. "Toss me a training blade, would ya?"

A boy in green pants grabbed a wooden blade from a nearby weapons rack and threw it in the air; Sokka caught it gracefully with one arm. He then extended it hilt first to Toph. "Good habit to get into, grabbing swords by the hilt. Assuming you get to handle live steel, that is."

"I already have, thanks," retorted Toph as she accepted the blade.

"Stolen?" quipped Sokka as he cut circles in the air with his own sword.

"In a manner of speaking," she replied, thinking about her night lessons with random guardsmen.

"Take your preferred stances," warned Iroh. "You will begin on my mark."

Sokka gripped the hilt with both hands and held the blade straight up against his chest.

Toph crouched low and with a two-handed grip leveled the blade at Sokka's midriff.

"Get ready…" said Iroh.

_He has the height and weight advantage, but you'll be able to move faster than him._

_His muscles are relaxed, but so are his eyes, so that tells me he's expecting a quick, easy fight._

_Play defense, thrust when you have an opening._

Kick him in the balls.

"Begin!" yelled Iroh.

Toph rushed at Sokka, feinted right, then slid over to his left. The warrior was caught off-guard and had to move quickly to place Toph back in his line-of-site.

_She's fast_, he told himself.

He brought his blade down but missed Toph by a foot or more; her blade came whizzing at his leg and he just managed to bring it over to counter. Toph rolled over and scrambled back to her feet as Sokka advanced on her. She brought her blade up as he brought his down, and soon there was a regular clacking of wood as the duelists danced around and with each other.

Most of the other people in the yard had expected the fight to be over in the first ten seconds, so when the three minute mark came it was no surprise that everyone had abandoned their work in order to watch the two foes in action.

By this time Sokka had given up any pretense of apathy or sailing through, and had begun to press his physical advantages – namely arm strength and leg stride – in order to undermine Toph. Occasionally he would charge her – she was still too quick for him to actually make contact – but he was fairly fast himself and Toph was expending a good amount of energy to avoid being hit.

Sokka's strategy was starting to work.

_Just keep playing defense_, thought Toph as she parried each blow from her opponent (with increasing difficulty). _Lure him in. Waver a little bit._

Toph's sword arm wobbled as Sokka's next blow came down – or at least, she _allowed_ her sword arm to wobble.

"Need a break?" said Sokka, taking a little too long to raise his sword for another blow.

_THERE._

Toph surged forward and before the boy could side-step she had elbowed Sokka in the stomach. He leaned forward, stunned, and Toph could hear the whoosh of air leaving his lungs.

_I almost feel sorry for doing this_, she said to herself as she brought her knee up to his groin.

Sokka's eyes bulged and he tilted forward even more.

There was a mass hiss of sympathy from the crowd.

Toph dropped to her knees and grabbed Sokka around the leg. She pushed forwards and upwards, and was delighted when an unbalanced Sokka fell and tumbled onto his back. She then retrieved Sokka's sword (as both parties had dropped their blades in the process), placed one foot on his chest and poked at his neck with the wooden tip.

"That's not a bad idea, actually," said Toph, answering Sokka's question.

There was an enthusiastic applause from the audience (and a few wolf-whistles, which Toph ignored). She held out her hand to her fallen foe. Sokka took it and stood up, wincing all the while. Toph suddenly blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry about…"

"It's fine," replied Sokka, his voice higher than before. "Totally legal combat move. It's happened to me before. Still just as painful as the other times."

"It seems I have nothing to be concerned about," said Iroh happily. "Fang, I welcome you to the King's Knights – may you serve with honor and distinction. I will deal with the paperwork-" He gave her a knowing look. "-in the meantime, get to know your fellow trainees. The spirits willing, they will be your brothers and sisters-in-arms for many years to come." And with that, Iroh left the training yard.

"So, you're called Fang, eh?" said Sokka, his voice a little closer to normal. "Weird name for a girl. Not that you're weird. Well, you are weird. Not that that's…I'm sorry, I sound like a real jerk, don't I?"

Something instinctively told Toph that she could trust him. "My real name is Toph Beifong," she whispered in his ear. Sokka opened his mouth in surprise and recognition but Toph shook her head and he closed his mouth again. "Call me Fang when we're in public," she added.

Sokka held out his hand. "Well though my body and pride are screaming at me to hate you," he said bemusedly, "I for one am glad to have you here. You'll do well, I think."

Toph took the offered hand and shook it.

"I'm glad to be here too."


	2. Parents

_**A dream is denied. Set four years later.**_

* * *

Sokka had purposefully avoided the capital ever since he said farewell to the King's Knights two years ago. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to serve king and country but there were…_issues_…that kept haunting him – the kind of issues that usually resulted in the formation of the not-officially-acknowledged-but-infamous kill squads that were sent after rogue knights. Because they went crazy. Or turned evil. So instead of wasting his time and the Knights' resources, Sokka had left a note for General Iroh and hooked up with a mercenary company headed for the Northern Tier. He worked with them for eight months and aside from one incident involving several barrels of blood lotus salve (a rare and critical ingredient for a certain medicine), he never felt like he had to compromise his morals in any serious way – sure, there was a lot of gray, but the King's Knights had given him surprisingly good instruction on how to deal with those situations, and he was thankful for it. Once he felt he had learned all he could from that band of misfits, Sokka had struck out on his own taking jobs here and there; mostly protection outfits, but occasionally some bounties and even a few contract killings (local criminals who had too much power or money for justice to be served any other way) – all of which kept Sokka _far _and away from Ba Sing Se.

But sadly, he could no longer keep his distance. There was business to be done in Ba Sing Se, Sokka really was the best man for this particular job and he needed the money, no matter how much he wished to avoid unexpected and unpleasant reunions with his former comrades.

Besides, the ale was good in Ba Sing Se, and the warrior was not one to pass up on quality ale.

Unluckily for him, the best ale was to be found at the Jasmine Dragon, a tavern that Iroh quite shrewdly purchased for the King's Knights and was frequented by many from the city watch, not to mention trainees and Knights-in-residence. But as long as Sokka kept his hood up and put a little growl in his voice, he should be able to pass unnoticed in the bustle of customers.

After all, good ale was always worth a little risk.

(***)

As Sokka entered the packed establishment, he was relieved to see that the barkeep was someone he'd never seen, and that all the serving wenches were new as well – except for Ty Lee. As long as he stayed away from her corner of the room he wouldn't need to worry about being recognized and within an hour have half the city knowing about his visit.

Besides, he would visit her _later_ in the evening, and ensure he was gone before the sun rose.

Sokka grinned. _She's always had a soft spot for me, that one_.

He forced his way to the bar, earning a few death glares from jostled patrons, and raised an arm to get the barkeep's attention.

"A mug of ale. From the Icereach, if you have any of it," he croaked.

The man grunted in the affirmative. He grabbed a clean mug (one of the other reasons Sokka risked the Dragon despite its high profile; the utensils were always clean) and went to a dark brown barrel sitting on the shelf directly behind him. The barkeep then fiddled with the bung and a stream of green Icereach ale flowed into the glass. He brought it to a grateful Sokka, who paid the man three silvers instead of the silver-and-a-half at which the beverage was usually priced. The warrior merely nodded at the bewildered expression on the man's face before lifting the glass and taking three big swallows of the pale liquid.

_Tastes just like home_, thought Sokka sadly.

"Another one," said a slurred voice over to his left.

"But you've had five already miss," protested the barkeep, who went over to his drunk patron.

"I don't give a shit. I have the money and you know I tip _generously_, so keep pouring. _Sir_." The last word was said with _dripping_ condescension. The barkeep gritted his teeth but snatched up the glass and began to refill it.

_There's something familiar about that voice…_

Sokka turned to his left to see a completely plastered Toph Beifong leaning over the bar. She had grown a lot taller in the intervening four years, and though womanhood had filled out her figure somewhat, no one could miss the athletic quality of arms and legs forged in the fires of daily exercise. She was wearing a simple training suit of boiled leather, and a leather helm lay carelessly on floor beside her.

"Toph?" said Sokka incredulously, abandoning any effort to disguise his voice.

"Sokka?" Toph's eyes went wide like a frog's. "SOKKA!" she shouted, and a few heads turned. The man in question immediately clapped a hand over her mouth and hissed "Shhh!" Toph nodded lazily in response.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered loudly after Sokka removed his hand. "And why didn't you tell me you were coming? And where have you been? You haven't written in a while…"

"I've been here and there, the usual stuff," he said vaguely. "I came back to pick up a job, and I had planned to leave first thing in the morning. The client was very secretive but assures me it's not anything dubious. What are _you_ doing here?"

"Mourning the end of my life," said Toph cheerily, though her lifeless eyes showed she was anything but.

"Why is your life over?"

"Because I can't be a Knight. The dream is over. Dead. Throat slit. Bowels pulled. Head-"

"Dammit, I get the picture," said Sokka, grimacing. "But…surely…you've progressed faster than any other recruit in the Knights' history, even Kyoshi…how can you just up and leave?"

"My parents-" she stopped to hiccup, "-found out I was here. Fancy that? They actually _found_ me. They _actually put in the effort._" She downed a portion of her drink.

"You did run away from home you know, with no clue as to where you'd gone. Toph, whatever you may think of them they _are_ still your parents."

"Aha," replied Toph, "but you're assuming they're concerned about _me_. _Me_, Toph, the hell-child who they could never control." She raised her glass to her lips once more.

Sokka snatched it from her. "Uh-uh, madam. No more alcohol for you," he said, dropping it behind the counter.

Toph's eyes were murderous. "Fuck you, you selfish bastard."

"Fuck you, beer breath," retorted Sokka, fully aware of the hypocrisy of his statement. "How'd they find you anyways?"

"_I don't know!_" shouted Toph, and for the first time in their friendship Sokka saw fear in her eyes. "I've been so _careful_…I always used my false name, I kept my hair short …I even changed my speech a little, though it was hardly lady-like to begin with. You and Iroh were the _only_ people I told about my true identity…" She laughed bitterly. "But I suppose when you're made of gold it's easy to find what you're looking for. It's not like their finders haven't come snooping around the Knights before. But they were always so easy to spot, and I just lied through my teeth whenever one of them actually got close enough to ask me questions." She paused. "They must've sent someone with brains _and_ who actually had an idea of what I'd look like four years later. One of the maids, perhaps; that must've _thrilled _mother to be one maid short for a while," she said sardonically. "To be honest, I'm more surprised that they took this long to find me."

"But why bring you home at this point? Isn't the damage already done as far as they're concerned?"

"No. Not until I take my vows. And though I've been 'tainted by the commoners' they think they can 'salvage something out of it.' Because the _only_ thing in the world that they care about more than their _incredible egos_ is my _useless cunt_," spat Toph.

Sokka's mouth fell open. He was no stranger to Toph's foul language – it was one of the things that so endeared her to him – but he had never heard such _venom_in her voice before – or heard her refer to herself in such a...well, it was quite unnerving.

"They don't care if **I** think my life has meaning…or purpose…or _usefulness_…" She struggled to get the words out. "All they fuckin' care about is that I haven't been fucking with stable boys and trainees and whomever else they think I've screwed in the last four years. All they care about is that I'm _pure _and _chaste _and ready to spread my legs for my _lord husband_ and then shit babies until he cries tears of joy. _Fuck that life_," she hissed. "I'd make a terrible wife and an even worse mother. You've seen how I am with kids. I'm a fuckin' disaster."

"I can't argue with you there," said Sokka, and took another draw of ale only to grimace in disappointment. _I knew this was too good to be true - they picked the seaweed too early for this batch_. _Clever bastards topped it with good ale to fool the merchants if they wanted a taste before the sale. Still, it's Icereach_… He forced himself to take another sip. "So…how'd _you_ find out?"

"They sent a letter about two weeks ago, which means they probably left for the capital about the same time it arrived. General Iroh tried his best to…well, Father used the whole 'we're family' bullshit with Kuei and then threatened to make life difficult for the King's Knights if Iroh didn't let me go. The general wanted to fight for me, but I told him I didn't want anyone else to suffer on my account. My parents paid off the city watch to keep an eye out for me, and also paid for private guards to stand watch around the training house, make sure that I didn't try to leave."

"So…when are Lord and Lady Beifong planning to whisk you away from this vulgar life of sweat, steel and sacred duty?"

"Tomorrow," said Toph softly. She smiled. "They actually tried to take me away this morning, but Iroh told them that he still needed to file the necessary discharge papers. My father gave him the stinkeye but the general stood the bastard down and gave a politely and cleverly-worded 'fuck off' in response."

"So how'd you end up here?"

"Snuck out," said Toph with a drunken grin. "But I should be heading back soon. They city watch are idiots but not the private guards…well, they're not _as _idiotic. They've been regularly checking on me and I'll be missed if I don't head back soon."

"What will you do?" asked Sokka simply.

Toph turned to stare at the rows of barrels on the wall. "I could run away again," she said defiantly. "Head away from the city – from any city, really. Start a new life."

"That's bullshit and you know it," scoffed Sokka. "You know _about_ living in the outside world but you don't know a _thing_ about _living_ in the outside world."

"I've gone on excursions with the Knights," retorted Toph. "We all did."

"Training exercises. Child's play. I'm not kidding, Toph," said Sokka, taking her by the arm. "I've only been out there for two years but I've learned _so much more_ about life than I ever did with the King's Knights. But it's been dangerous. Fun, exciting – but dangerous, even for me."

"So what," said Toph dejectedly, "you're saying I should go home, become a glorified bedwarmer like my mother and a thousand noble ladies before her?"

"No," said Sokka, a gleam filling his eye. "I think you should take a leap of faith. Travel off the beaten path…walk on the wild side…"

"I'm not one of your back-alley squeezes, Snoozles. Just spit it out."

"Come with me, Toph," he said, grabbing her hand with the one not currently attached to her arm.

Toph snorted. "I'm not interested in your dick, Sokka. Beside, you have plenty of whores to choose from in this city. Hell, I bet you're going to charm Ty Lee into bed after her shift is done."

_Was it really that obvious? _grumbled Sokka to himself. "No Toph, I really mean it. Come with me. I could use someone like you as a partner in…well, whatever it is I'm doing."

Toph looked at him in surprise. "You want me to become a mercenary. A knight turned common sellsword. To turn my back on law and justice and everything a knight stands for?"

"First of all, 'mercenary' is an ugly word with lots of bad implications. Second, you and I are hardly common…well, I am but that's not the point. Third, I have not turned my back on law and justice. I am totally for justice and _maybe_ bending laws every now and then. Four, as you said earlier, you're only a knight-in-training who has not taken vows. Five, I promise that I only take 'good' jobs. Well, maybe a little gray here and there. The world's like that, you know."

Toph started blankly at him.

Sokka squirmed in his seat.

Finally she giggled. "You know what? Fuck it. Between a life with steel in my hand and a life with some crusty old man's cock between my legs, I'll take the steel. Give me two hours and I'll have my things."

"Two hours won't be long enough if your father's guards are regularly checking on you. Go back to your room, get a little sleep." Sokka rummaged through his pocket and retrieved a key. "I'm staying at the Silver Unagi. Wait until the fourth watch, then make a break for it. You can hide out in my room. It's at the end of the first floor."

"What about you?" asked Toph. "I'm assuming it's not a room for two, and I've always been suspicious of the floors at the Unagi."

"Oh, I'm sure I can find suitable accommodations for the evening," said Sokka slyly, making sure that Toph followed his gaze to the buxom Ty Lee prancing about in the back corner.

Toph rolled her eyes. "Of course. Say no more more." Sokka opened his mouth. "No, really, I don't want to hear about it," she said firmly, and downed the last of her ale in one fell swoop.

"We'll leave just before first light," said Sokka. "We don't want to take the chance that word of your escape makes it to the gates before we can make it through. We'll disguise you and the guards will probably be too disgruntled by early morning duty to care about searching your person."

"I should get going," said Toph, who stumbled as she rose off her bar stool; Sokka quickly caught and steadied her. She looked at him. "Too much to drink," she said matter-of-factly.

"Yup. Told you so."

She playfully slapped him on the cheek and started walking (however inelegantly) to the door.

"Sokka," said Toph, stopping for a moment, "…thank you."

"It's what friends do, dear," said Sokka, lifting his glass in salute. Toph tossed 12 silvers over to the counter, nodded to Sokka and the barkeep, shook her head furiously and headed out the door.

"Another Icereach, sir," said Sokka, shoving his glass forward. The barkeep obliged him, and as Sokka took the first sip of his drink, he looked over at Ty Lee and smiled.

She finally noticed him and after a look of recognition flashed over her face, she smiled right back.

This had turned out to be one of the best night's Sokka had had in a long time.

_And it's only going to get better_, he thought.


	3. Bedtime

**_Toph sits. Set five years later (warning: contains sexual content).  
_**

* * *

In the five years that Toph and Sokka had been in business together, escorting a Christian monk from Fairglenn to Chengdu was by far the most amusing job they had ever contracted. For one thing, Aang was so unnaturally cheerful. He always woke before Sokka and Toph to make them tea. He was always volunteering to stoke the fires and break down camp, even when the pair made it clear that his help was neither wanted nor needed. He was kind to every traveler they met, even the ones who threatened him with violence. He did not attempt to proselyte to either of them (and Toph had little use for gods besides taking their names in vain), but he gave them both rosaries with the hopes that they would provide protection long after the monk had departed; both warriors wore the necklaces in appreciation of his intent. And Aang _always_ had a smile on his face –_always,_ even in his sleep. He never swore and he almost never raised his voice. In fact, the only time his composure seemed to rattle was whenever he argued with Sokka about the damn cow – Appa was her name. The monk was rather attached to her and when questioned he admitted that he had no real use for the beast; still, he refused to let her go, despite Sokka's protests that the thing was slowing their progress.

When Toph finally worked up the nerve to ask Aang if Appa was meant to be a pet, he shook his head and answered, "She's family."

_Well, to each his own, _thought Toph, and as they walked along the road her thoughts drifted to more personal matters.

She remembered retrieving stolen spices from pirates on the River Roku, only to discover that they were partially owned by her father (after which she'd promptly dumped the whole lot into the river). To say that Sokka had been livid was an understatement. Fortunately she was able to convince their client that the loss was truly an accident and that the gemstones she recovered from the captain's cabin should more than enough cover his insurance costs and _only_ his, not those of Lord Beifong's.

She remembered killing her first man. There was a group of bandits (from Arden judging by their clothing) who tried to ambush her and Sokka on the road from Kingshall to Shadowglen. Sokka killed three of them without even blinking. The last had rushed at her, yelling and screaming all the while, and despite her training Toph had panicked at the sight. It was one thing to fight training dummies and friends you'd known for years; it was another to fight a complete stranger, one with more hands-on experience than you did. Quite frankly, running that bastard through had been pure luck.

She managed to contain her anguish for the rest of the evening till after they made camp, then she darted away from the bedrolls and heaved onto the grass.

Sokka came and hugged her till she felt better.

It was the first and last time she had such a visceral reaction.

There had been many more kills since then.

She'd tried cactus juice for the first time and after waking up in the local pottery with three goats, a book on southern wildflowers and a very confused notary crushed (but alive) beneath her, she swore never to touch the shit again.

She and Sokka did double shots not a month later.

She had grown into her own person, challenged her morals and had them challenged by others. She had become harder, tougher, wiser. She felt content with her place in the world, content with the life she and the loveable idiot walking beside her had built for themselves with sword and sweat and blood.

In short, Toph Beifong, an already formidable and impressive human being, had become a certified badass.

But there was something missing from this picture, something which Toph could no longer afford to keep at arm's length. The mere thought of it generated a strange mix of curiousity, revulsion, fear, desire and just plain confusion. It was something which she, before running away from home and become a wandering swordsman, had long feared would define her identity for the rest of her life.

Toph needed to have sex.

It wasn't that she particularly _wanted_ to have sex – sex was a big, scary unknown that she'd always imagined involved being trapped under some sweaty nobleman (if she was _lucky_ he'd be handsome) lying still as a corpse and pretending to enjoy it. And there was no way it was as magical and perfect as they wrote it in stories and pillow books. She had seen naked bodies before: the low numbers of women in the King's Knights did not warrant the construction of separate baths, and she had lost count of the number of times she'd caught her comrades-in-arms mid-coitus in the nooks and crannies of the compound (Sokka was a particularly bad offender). Sex was messy and awkward and looked like way too much effort to be worth the supposed pleasure.

As far as Toph was concerned, losing her virginity was simply a matter of having the experience under her belt. Hopefully, in doing so, she would understand herself a bit better, which in turn would make her a more effective warrior.

* * *

_"Know thyself," said Iroh as he paced through the recruits. "Know your strengths and your weaknesses. Know your wants, your needs, and your fears. The less you know about yourself, the less you can predict your actions and the actions of those you face in battle. To know thyself is to gain control, control that will be invaluable in your lives and on the field, if necessary." _

* * *

Toph doubted Iroh had been speaking of the bedroom at that particular moment, but given the general's well-known romantic life, perhaps she shouldn't have ruled out that interpretation.

There was also the issue of her parents to deal with. They had always talked about sex as some dangerous, unpleasant thing which was only to be done in the confines of marriage and only for the purpose of bearing children. Even though Toph now knew this was not the case, the weight of her parents' teachings was causing a conflict of guilt and desire in her mind (a battle that would often rear its ugly head during the rare moments she touched herself in the privacy of her bedroll). A tumble between the sheets could go a long way towards putting the beast down for good. And on the off chance fate handed her back into the _loving_ custody of Poppy and Lao Beifong, she could unsubtly drop a few hints about bedding men up and down the nation during her travels, backed up by her missing maidenhead (if such a thing even existed). There _might_ be a _few_ noblemen who elected to ignore her lack of "purity" for the benefits of a Beifong marriage, but she suspected that most suitors would want to fuck a maid on their wedding night (not that it ever stopped _them_ from deflowering women left and right before then).

There was also a less pleasant reason for wanting at least one sexual experience under her belt. Toph had never given much thought to being a warrior woman on the road, and anyone who thought her incapable quickly found themselves on the ground with an abundance of bruises. But all it would take was one slip up, one bad day and then…

One time, while they were just outside of Old Omashu, Toph and Sokka had split up in pursuit of a convicted murderer. She ran into a group of highwayman who were hiding out in the thickets by the nearby river. She put up a hell of a fight, but if she hadn't thrown herself into the raging waters and floated downstream (managing to drown one of the bastards in the process), they would've had her virginity and more, if they so chose. She got lucky that day, but luck was a fickle bitch, and should the day ever come wherein she'd was forcibly taken by some sweaty, black-hearted dipshit, she'd rather not have the experience become be the initial, defining moment that shaped her future sexuality.

(***)

The first step to sex was self-assessment.

Toph knewthat people desired her (the would-be rapists of the world didn't count) - the amount of leering and catcalls and "accidental" ass grabs in taverns (which resulted in "accidental" wrist-breakings) told her that much – but Toph never could understand whythey would still want _her_ – Not with so many other more palatable women out there.

About three months earlier, while Sokka snored away, Toph went out to a nearby lake, stripped to her bare skin and used the moonlight to assess her reflection. Despite a reduction in daily food intake, she'd grown even beefier since leaving the Knights, though Sokka still had the edge (he knew better than to brag about it, though). Her hair was always a mess; keeping it short had its advantages – she'd lost count of how many fights she'd won by yanking someone's long hair and pulling them in for the kill – but it was highly unflattering, and she was too cheap to bother having someone make something of it. Her skin was pockmarked with dozens of scars of varying sizes from arrows, blades, axe heads and other random weapons. Ironically, her most prominent decoration came not from a person but from a boar tusk; it was a long, ugly streak of pink across her right thigh – just thinking about the encounter made her shiver.

But for all her faults (at least the ones she ascribed to herself), there were a few things that she did have in her favor. She definitely had a way with people, whether it was by charming a tavern crowd with her boisterous attitude and dirty jokes, or by infuriating opponents with creative insults and goading them into blindly attack her. She had an objectively pretty face (_but lots of people have pretty faces_), and more than one person had commented on the striking quality of her eyes (_but lots of people have nice eyes_). And Toph was not lacking in bosom – her breasts had continued to grow even though the rest of her body seemed content in its current state. It was really the only aspect of her sexuality that she was comfortable with, mainly because they were so useful in getting discounts on supplies, and a little tease often went a long way in getting information from otherwise resigned sources. She still bound the "bouncing babes" as she did in her Knights' days, but wraps were not as tight – she couldn't afford plate armor and a little jiggle was almost always guaranteed to distract her opponents during a fight.

Now that she had figured out the details of her attractiveness, she was ready for step two: seducing someone into bed with her.

(***)

She'd been more flirty than usual whenever they stopped at roadside inns and frequented the various taverns. Flashing a smile and showing more cleavage than usual (the hint of breast she used during business transactions and combat was _more_ than enough as far she was concerned). Most of her potential bedmates were farmers and laborers who came to have a drink after a hard day's work. When they passed through the big cities, Toph would run into soldiers from the local army encampments or foreign mercenaries seeking out new opportunities. One time a handsome, blonde priest from the Iron Moor begged for the honor of her company in his bed, and Toph had been so taken by his earnestness (and his rather impressive chest) that she actually did bring him back to her room – but all he got for his troubles was a lovebite on his neck and a few handfuls of breast.

Three months later and Toph was still sexless – for whatever reason she could never go through with it. It was closeness…or rather, the lack of it. And to be honest, this aversion made no sense to her. It wasn't like she needed to be in love – she had never expected for there to be any love in her sex life, and who had time for love…_real_ love…with a life like hers? Staying fed, staying alive and staying focused were the most important things.

_And yet…_ she thought. She looked over her shoulder to watch Sokka arguing with Aang, and began to reconsider the one possibility she'd all but ruled out from the get go.

Sokka was a friend. More than that, he was a partner, a rock, a sturdy shield to go along with her fierce sword (she was easily the more combative of the two). She trusted him like no one else on this earth.

But Sokka was also a man, and being Toph's friend did not preclude him from seeing her the way a man might see a woman, though with more appreciation than lust. Sokka was no stranger to women, either – she'd known that from her days in the Knights' training camp. He fucked farmer's daughters, soldiers, serving girls, courtesans (he got to fuck them for _free_, the charmer!), and probably a wife or two. The self-described manwhore even had a few "regulars" – Ty Lee for one, though Toph doubted the two had seen each other since leaving Ba Sing Se (which the pair actively avoided). Then there was that teacher…brown hair, spunky little thing…_what's her name? I forget_, thought Toph, putting her out of mind.

Toph was comfortable with him, he was skilled and he would care that she had a good time (or as good a time as she wanted to) without caring about _her_, at least in a romantic sense.

_I guess that settles it, then._

She just prayed that it wouldn't be the beginning of the end for their partnership.

(***)

When Aang went off to forage for his lunch (being a vegetarian and all), Toph took Sokka aside and made her request. She expected him to laugh, or wiggle his eyebrows, or puke, do _something_ other than sit quietly and listen to her every word. Instead he placed his hands on her shoulders and said solemly, "I'm flattered and honored that you'd come to me. I'd be _more_ than happy to do this for you. You're in good hands, I promise."

"Oh. Well, thanks," said Toph, now feeling more awkward than ever before. "Look, I know you have your thing, so you needn't worry about me getting _attached_ and all that nonsense…"

"I'm not worried. We're both professionals, right?" said Sokka. "And it's just one night, right? Not to diminish the significance of this one night. For you, I mean. Well, for me too, but…shit." He sighed. "Look Toph, this'll only change our relationship if we let it. And as long as we stay focused on the task at hand – bringing you into the ranks of the bedded, nothing more – then we should be fine."

"Okay," replied Toph, who now felt slightly less awkward.

"So…when do you…_we_ want to do this?"

"As soon as possible. Tonight, if we can manage it."

Sokka hesitated. "There aren't any beds for at least four days. It might be more comfortable for you if-"

"I'm a big girl, Sokka," scoffed Toph. "I don't need a fluffy bed and candles and foot massages and all that bullshit."

Sokka considered her thoughts. "We'll be passing by a small forest in a day or so. It'll give us some privacy away from monk-boy," he said, jabbing his thumb towards the direction Aang had taken. "We can do it then."

"Perfect. It's a date," said Toph, who then did a double take. "Uh, I mean…"

"I know what you mean, Toph. So...tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night."

(***)

They managed to find a clearing in the woods, and with the full moon out both warriors had a good view of each other. Sokka had brought their bedrolls with him and laid them out to form a giant square on the grass. They began to strip in front of each other (something which they'd done countless times before), but there was an unmistakable tension in the air, despite all of Sokka's assurances of a casual atmosphere.

"Here are the rules," said Toph as she unbuttoned her shirt, exposing her breasts. "You keep your hands on my hips unless I tell you otherwise. There will be no touching, licking, sucking…whatever, of any kind on any of my bits. You get in, you do your thing, you get out, no frills. From the stories I've heard, a woman getting off during sex is the exception, not the rule. No reason to unnecessarily raise my expectations for future encounters."

"But…I can't sleep with you and not have you enjoy it. It…just doesn't seem right," replied Sokka as he removed his pants.

"Look," said Toph with exasperation, "this situation is already weird enough and I don't want things getting any more awkward than they already are. You giving me an orgasm is only going to complicate things." _Probably just for me._

"But _you_ giving _me_ an orgasm isn't a complication?"

"The benefits of having a dick: you're always guaranteed to get off during sex. This is just routine as far as you're concerned."

Sokka was tempted to list off all the times he had _not _gotten off with his bedmates, but as Toph slid her smallclothes down her legs to reveal the dark nest of hair between her legs, the comment died on his lips.

They were now completely naked in front of each other – they had been like this well before tonight, but now there was a new purpose to their nakedness, something which made both of them uncomfortable.

Sokka was glancing downwards; no prize for guessing what he was looking at. Toph fought the urge to cover herself with her arms. _No sense in being a prude now. _

"Well, if you're not wet this is going to hurt way more than it needs to," said Sokka matter-of-factly.

"I'll just go and finger myself for a couple minutes," said Toph dismissively. "You should do the same. Well, palming, grasping…whatever you guys call it."

"Wouldn't it be easier if-" Toph glared at him. "…fine."

"I'll be back in five minutes," she said as she started to walk deeper into the woods.

"Are you sure that's going to be enough time for y-" She glared at him again. "I'll see you in five minutes."

(***)

As Toph disappeared into the trees, Sokka started to conjure up memories of a frequent bedmate of his. Her name was Suki, and she lived in the central farmlands; she was exceptionally well-built and ran a training school for aspiring swordsman alongside her mother. Whenever the warrior was in the area he made a point of spending the night (several nights if he could manage it).

But his mind kept wandering back to Toph and after making a mild protest to his brain, Sokka decided to go with it. After all, it wouldn't be the first time he'd fantasized about her, willingly or no. Whether she acknowledged it or not, Toph _was_ beautiful, and if Sokka hadn't been so concerned about preserving their close friendship (to say nothing of the certainty that she'd have beaten him within an inch of his life), he'd probably have proposed something like this a long time ago.

With plenty of titillating images floating through his head, Sokka took himself in hand and began to stroke.

(***)

Toph reemerged from the darkness five minutes later, her skin flushed with arousal and embarrassment; for whatever reason she'd been unable to keep Sokka firmly out of mind whilst she pleasured herself in the dark. She'd tried her hardest to push the images out; her brain flickered from old crushes she'd had at the King's Knights to the blonde monk to the handsome heroes from the novels she used to read – but all to no avail. _It makes sense_, thought Toph. _I mean, I _am _about to have sex with him._ _But…it's _Sokka. _I can't be _wanting _him. That's not what this is about._

Get in, get out, get it done.

_ Just stick to the plan._

Sokka's manhood was wet with desire, and it almost seemed to glisten in the moonlight. Toph tried to avert her eyes with limited success.

_He was probably thinking about Suki_, she thought. _That's what I would do if I had to sleep with me._

Uncertainty seized her. _I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I mean, I know what I should do…but, I don't _know_ anything at all._

The two forced themselves to meet each other's eyes.

"So…how do…?" began Sokka.

"On your back," said Toph. The man obliged by laying down on the bedrolls and clasping his hands together just over his abdomen. Toph straddled his legs just below the waist; she was hyperaware of how his skin felt against hers, the warmth of their bodies, the coolness of the night air, the noises of the nocturnal creatures who bore witness to their activities.

She could feel his hardness pressing against her stomach.

She traced her left hand over his chest, taking care to pull her fingers over the scar on his right side. An assassin sent by the river pirates had managed to get in a lucky blow before Toph removed his hand – then his head. Sokka had been in bed for four days afterwards.

She looked into his eyes.

He looked right back.

In that moment, Toph came to a sad realization.

_Things will never be the same between us again._

"Look, Toph," began Sokka with a sigh, "if this is making you uncomfortable…"

_But I don't trust anyone else to do this for me…do this _with _me._

"…I won't be offended, and I won't think any less of you…"

_Know thyself. Face your demons. Set them free._

Toph remembered what Sokka had said nearly nine years ago. _"Good habit to get into, grabbing swords by the hilt."_

She grabbed the base of Sokka's cock, aligned it with the entrance to her body, and slowly sat down.

(***)

The instant the head slipped inside it felt as though someone had thrown open a door inside her being and Toph knew she could never close it again. _What is learned cannot be unlearned, only forgotten. _Well, she wasn't going to forget this anytime soon.

There was pressure, a _tiny_ pinch of pain and…it was…well, she didn't know how to describe it. It felt so…_weird_…creepy, even. She could feel the delicate skin sliding against her inner flesh.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Toph's thighs made contact with Sokka's waist, and her weight sank onto her legs. He was completely buried inside her.

No flashing lights, no angelic choruses, no feelings of euphoria.

_Well that was anticlimactic_, thought Toph to herself.

She looked down and was surprised at the total lack of blood. _Another sign I'm a complete weirdo? Or is that another romance novel cliché down the cistern?_

Her muscles clenched reflexively as they tried to make sense of the foreign object currently embedded in her body. Sokka dug his fingers into her hips and hissed in pain. "Damn woman, you're a lot tighter than I thought you'd be." His face filled with concern. "Are you sure you're feeling relaxed?"

Toph raised an eyebrow. "I'm probably as relaxed as I'm going to be." She tried tracing patterns on Sokka's chest to calm her nerves and moved from left to right, trying to get her brain and body on the same page.

A yelp of discomfort (with a _slight_ hint of appreciation) escaped from Sokka's lips.

"Keep it down!" she hissed. "I know we're in the trees, but I don't want to risk waking up Baldy. Besides…" she said with a shiver (_it's just the night air_), "…that doesn't sit well with me." _Oh God, I'm making jokes without even meaning to._

Sokka started to lift himself up on his elbows. "Is this…am _I _creeping you out? Maybe I should pull-"

"Stay where you are!" shouted Toph, then remembered her own advice. "You're…doing fine," she said softly. "It's just that…" Toph felt heat surge through her cheeks. "I'm still getting used to this…to _you_…you're actually _inside_ me. I've always hated the idea, I mean you _know _this and…well, I didn't think…I just need some time, okay? And I'm not gonna freak out. Well, maybe a little. But I'm still doing this. _We're _still doing this."

Sokka simply nodded said, "Just tell me when. Do whatever you need to feel comfortable. And if you want to stop, just say the word and it's done." He lay back down and closed his eyes, but kept his hands on her hips. His grip relaxed and he very gently started to stroke back and forth across her hips and backside.

Toph almost brought up the rules but opted not to. _That feels…nice_, she thought.

They remained stationary for nearly five minutes, both parties trying not to think about how incredibly awkward the whole thing was.

_Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all,_ thought Toph despondently. _And now I've quite literally screwed my friendship with Sokka. So much for self-empow-_

She didn't know what had happened; if it was Sokka's hands, or her walls finally stretching to accommodate the man beneath her, or all the physical and mental bits coming together, but all of a sudden those muscles were moving again and this time…

Sokka groaned and Toph let out a gasp as pleasure surged through their bodies.

_Oh_.

Sokka's hands started to tighten up again.

_That feels pretty good, actually._

"Do that again," said Sokka.

"I…I don't know if I…" And then it just happened, and they both made noise again.

_Don't think_, came a strange voice from somewhere in Toph's mind. _Feel. Instinct, not logic. Spontaneity, not strategy. Those will come with time and practice. _Enjoy _this moment._

"Whatever you say," whispered Toph to herself. _Okay Toph. Feel. Instinct. Be spontaneous._

She hesitantly began to rock her hips back and forth. Obviously she was doing something right, as Sokka's hips were beginning to move as well.

"Try…moving up and down," said Sokka. "_Slowly_. There'll be plenty of time for speed…in the future."

She became aware of the empty space inside her as she rose up, and it was oddly comforting to fill it again when she sat back down. Of course, this threw off her hip roll, and it took Toph several tries to get all the axes and movements coordinated.

Her brain was finally starting to make sense of the whole experience. The sensation was different from when Toph pleasured herself. Not better or worse mind you, just…_different_. Different in a good way, too. And now a familiar burning began just below her stomach.

"You can go…a little faster…" said Toph, whose breath was beginning to hitch with each successive stroke.

"As the…lady wishes…" gasped Sokka.

Their loins were finally in sync, and Toph's legs had crept wider and wider to accommodate the motions of their bodies. Things were feeling good…feeling _really _good…but she seemed to have reached her limit. She wanted _desperately _to touch herself, but she wouldn't. She couldn't. It wouldn't have been "authentic." _And it would put me in a dangerous place._

Then before Toph realized what was happening Sokka had sat up and was cradling her against his chest.

She opened her mouth to protest, to remind him about the rules _again_, but all that emerged was a gasp and her legs automatically rose to wrap themselves around his waist.

She was still in control, but now Sokka had a much better angle on her, and he was hitting this _one spot_ and everything felt _delicious_ and her body inched a little bit closer…

Their movements grew faster and faster, and everything around Toph faded away until nothing was left but the slapping of wet flesh, the feeling of Sokka's hands against her back, their beating hearts pressed together.

And then all of a sudden Sokka went stiff beneath her and his cock went even stiffer and he whispered "Oh God," then there was _heat_ as his seed filled her cunt. The burning sensation in her lower body pulsed and then slowly began to die, but her body felt slightly cheated; Toph had never quite reached orgasm.

_But that was a good thing, wasn't it?_

So as Sokka clutched her body, riding out the last throes of his peak, Toph began to take stock of the situation.

There. That was it.

She was no longer a virgin.

She'd had sex.

Once the rumblings were done, Toph rose rather ungracefully off of Sokka, trying to ignore the movement of his fluids inside her. _Think about something else._ "My moon was a week ago, so we needn't worry about pregnancy," she said casually, as if she were rattling off a supply list. "Though in hindsight, I should've been more worried about disease. You do sleep with all those whores…"

"Only the clean ones," said Sokka, his voice devoid of any mirth. He looked up at Toph. "So…how do you feel?" His voice was full with genuine curiosity and concern.

This was one conversation Toph _really_ did not want to have. She yanked out one of the blankets from underneath Sokka. "I'm going to bed," she said, simply.

"Toph…" he began.

She cut him off. "I'll see you in the morning," she added, then walked in the direction of camp and disappeared into the woods.

Sokka shouldn't have been hurt by her cold shoulder – they'd agreed to keep things simple – but her just up and leaving like this – it _hurt_ him.

An air of sadness still clutching his heart, Sokka lay back down on the remaining bedroll, closed his eyes and went to sleep.

(***)

Toph awoke to the smell of leek soup and fresh tea. Her brain was instantly flooded with memories of the previous night, and her loins, sore though they were, twitched pleasurably in response.

Last night Toph had purposefully denied herself release – no longer.

She furiously thrust her fingers in and around her slit, and barely managed to stifle the moan of relief when she finally came.

She pulled on her smalls and a light shirt and went to have breakfast. Aang slyly commented on her lack of modesty (but not in a malicious way); Toph punched his arm in response and the two went into a deep discussion about the merits of tea versus alcohol (which Toph was surprised to learn the monk _did_ indulge in from time to time).

A dressed but disheveled looking Sokka emerged from the woods about 15 minutes later and sat down across from his two companions; the drinks conversation stopped as its two participants turned to greet the new arrival. Aang and Sokka exchanged cheery "good morning's," but when Toph and Sokka tried to meet eyes, neither could bring themselves to do it.

Aang looked from Toph to Sokka, sniffed the air, wrinkled his nose and smiled.

"If you two wished to engage in carnal relations, you should have said something to me. You needn't have gone into the woods on my account – it would have been far simpler for me to move."

Toph and Sokka could only stare at him in shock.

"Speaking of moving…" Aang's smile widened. "I suspect a conversation needs to take place that doesn't involve me. I'm going to make sure Appa has been fed and watered. I hope all goes well." He walked off into the distance.

There was a good two minutes of silence either of them spoke.

"Thank you. For last night, I mean," said Toph awkwardly. "It was…an experience. I mean, a good experience. You were…you were good."

"You're welcome," mumbled Sokka. "Like I said, it was an honor."

_Fuck,_ thought Toph. _I've fucked this – _us – _up for good._ "Hey Sokka…are _we_…gonna be okay? You and me, the Warriors Wild and all that?"

"Yeah, we're okay." He gave a sad smile. "It was just sex, right?"

"It was just sex." The words felt false and hollow. She decided it was time to get out. "I'm going to have a bath. Tell monk boy we leave in two hours." She headed off in the direction of the nearby stream.

The thought came unbidden to her mind.

_Don't do it, _something whispered.

_Fuck you,_ something else whispered back.

"Hey Sokka." She turned back towards him.

When the warrior turned to face Toph he was surprised to see a blush on her cheeks.

"If you ever need a break from your harem of strumpets and hussies or you get tired of beating one off in your bedroll…well, I'm game." Her face darkened. "But don't expect this to become a regular occurrence – this happens only when you _really_ need it. Can't have you taking advantage of my generosity and all that shit."

"As the lady wishes," Sokka replied softly.

And with that promise floating in the air, Toph headed for the nearby stream.

* * *

**Author's Note: **If you made it all the way to the end, kudos to you. This was awkward and angsty and incredibly non-sexy and an absolute agony to write - not just for its length, but for the sheer sadism I apparently have towards the couples I claim to love. There should be happier smut in the future. Maybe. I make no promises.


	4. Duty

**_Sokka kneels. Set seven years later._**

* * *

**What is duty?**

Sokka and Toph were currently between jobs and at least a two weeks journey away from the nearest city (and more work). For the time being they were perfectly content to enjoy the sights and sounds of the Scorched Plains (which were actually quite green) from atop their horses. These particular steeds had been liberated from a stable three days back; Toph justified the acquisition by pointing out that the horses were old and had been marked for slaughter. Sokka was just glad to get off his feet for any decent period of time.

In fact, he was glad to be back on dry land, period.

They'd spent the last two years overseas after making _one_ too many enemies here at home. It was surprising how many (powerful) people one could piss off in nine years of adventure-seeking, bounty hunting, mercenary work and doing odd jobs. So Toph and Sokka had boarded a ship headed for the West, a journey that took six months to make (so in actuality, they'd been gone for three years). The duo visited the fabled lands of Eiropie, the birthplace of Christianity, and got holy relics (or so they were advertised) as gifts for Aang. Later they went south to Afrian, where the ruins of ancient civilizations proved popular for travelers and treasure hunters alike, and the pair had spent a fair amount of time in the company of the latter. As luck would have it, they _made_ excellent treasure hunters and even _better_ treasure guards, as thieves and rival gangs quickly discovered to their great misfortune. The rewards they received for their finds (that is, those finds they didn't sell on the black market) were…_exceptional, _to say the least. Their saddlebags now contained roughly a dozen pieces made of rare and precious stones; after all, it was much easier to cart around an armful of gems than bags or chests of gold.

The two rode so close together that their legs were pressed in between the horses; Toph's hand rested on Sokka's thigh and unconsciously traced patterns across his linen trousers, and Sokka's thoughts turned inward to the most important development of the last seven years.

* * *

True to her word, Toph did _not _become "clingy" or "attached" after he'd taken her maidenhead – far from it actually. The experience had seemed to kill (or at the very least, give her control over) the insecurities that had prevented her from exploring her sexuality. She was very particular about the men (and two exceptional women) she'd bedded, but whenever an opportunity arose she usually took it, and there was _plenty _of opportunities for someone as unique as Toph. He'd listen to the tales of her exploits with relish and laughed along with her at some of the more embarrassing moments. They would occasionally add to those tales themselves, as Toph made good on her offer of (occasional) casual sex, something Sokka usually capitalized on during long, isolated travel routes. She would always brag about him as an excellent bedmate and teacher (which only helped him in making his infamous conquests).

But as time went on, Sokka found himself becoming more and more attached to Toph, at least where the sex was concerned. As a result, he became increasingly uncomfortable when she told him about her various escapades. At first he'd felt guilty – Toph had put up with his dirty stories for years, and probably with no small discomforts of her own. Why should he not suck it up and give her the same courtesy shown to him? But after some careful thinking Sokka finally realized (or admitted, take your pick) what the problem was.

He was afraid that Toph was sharing her heart.

And he knew better than that. While on the surface, Toph seemed like a very open, readable person, Sokka knew that she kept things _very_ close to the chest – even around him. She had sex, but only for her own pleasure, never for sentiment. But he understood her thinking – he had acted much the same way for years, though he suspected it was for _very_ different reasons. But there was always the chance that someone would find the chink in her armor and work their way in. And then he would have to share her affections – not just as a friend, but as a lover.

And so one night, while Toph lay naked and sweaty and asleep in his arms, Sokka had acknowledged the awful, painful truth.

_I'm in love with Toph. Utterly, irrevocably, completely in love._

His taste for other women faded as time went on. Oh, he kept up appearances; his flirtations continued in abundance, and every so often he would pretend to disappear for the evening. But the truth was that Sokka had long forgotten the last time he shared his bed with anyone other than Toph. No woman, no matter how pretty or alluring, had been able to rouse his loins…or his heart. Not even _her_ memory moved him now – just Toph. Only Toph.

His Toph.

All he wanted to do now was love her. Care for her. Live each day by her side. Protect…well, she was more likely to be protecting him. But it was the sentiment that counted, right?

She saw something in the trees and laughed, and Sokka couldn't help but smile at the joy he knew she was feeling.

**Duty is love.**

* * *

His introspection was suddenly shattered by a frantic yell coming from somewhere in the distance.

Toph's hand immediately left his thigh and grasped the hilt of her sword. "Please tell me I didn't just hear someone yell."

"You heard someone yell," he replied firmly.

"_Shit._ But there's nothing out here, though," she said, her eyes frantically searching for the source of the sound. "I mean there's _literally_ nothing on the map besides the landforms – there's no towns, no villages – no one uses this road, not even bandits-"

But then they heard the yell again, and Toph suddenly pointed ahead of them and shouted "look!" as a figure came bounding over the nearby hilltop, its horse galloping like hell itself was behind it. About ten seconds later a dozen riders in black emerged as well, clearly in pursuit of the lone figure. After the briefest exchange of glances, the two warriors kicked their horses into a gallop and prayed they would reach the lone rider in time.

(***)

Kuei was going to die.

Kuei was going to die and no one would know and it was all because he was a fool, a trustful idiot and a poor judge of character.

They were gaining on him, gaining steadily and purposefully and he could not outrun them much longer. He yelled, screamed for someone, _anyone_ to lend him aid. But there was only silence.

_Is this how it all ends, Lord?_ he thought silently. He glanced around him (but not behind him), to see the rolling hilltops, the nearby mountains, the brilliant blue sky overhead; he felt the wind whistling in his ears as the horse tried in vain to keep him ahead of his pursuers.

_At least He picked a beautiful day for me to die_.

* * *

He should never have agreed to the summit. But he had to. Ozai's power and influence had been steadily growing over the last sixteen years. In his naïvety Kuei had assumed that Ozai would settle down, abandon his aspirations of glory, but now he could no longer afford to ignore the man's mad lust for power.

Fortunately, Ozai's antics had managed to alienate many of his vassals, and they were itching for an excuse to go to war against their liege lord. He had his chief adviser Long Feng send secret missives to each one requesting that they attend him in Ba Sing Se to discuss the situation.

All of them refused to leave the Scorched Plains – Ozai's suspicions flared any time one of them was summoned to the capital. But Lord Fist had a small estate near the borderlands – very quiet, very secluded. It wasn't even listed on any maps; Fist's forebears had built it as a hideaway during the conquest of Chin the Barbarian and kept it a family secret, until now. If the king wanted to call a council of vassals, it would be done there, and no one would be the wiser. To throw off suspicion, a large procession with a lookalike had been sent off to the Icereach for "a vacation and trade negotiations." In actuality, Kuei travelled west in disguise and only brought a handful of the King's Knights with him along with General Sung, head of the western army division. Kuei felt apprehensive and nervous and a little silly to be honest, but he had a duty to quell Ozai's malice before it got out of hand. He only wished he'd had the balls to deal with it before now.

Unfortunately the burgeoning alliance would never get that chance.

The lodging was attacked on the second day of talks.

Over a hundred assailants struck in the early morning hours just before the changing of the watch. The King's Knights and the vassals' retainers made a valiant effort to defend the building, but secrecy had demanded they bring as few bodyguards as possible, and they were quickly overwhelmed. Kuei barred himself in his room with two of the King's Knights, and could only seize up in fear as he heard the dying screams of the nobleman throughout the mansion. _Oh God, not like this. Please, not like this…_

The door to his room was kicked open, and to his relief Lord Fist appeared, his face pale and bloody. "Your Majesty, you must come with me _now_."

He led the trio through a secret passage that came out at the stables. He slew two of the unknown foes that were guarding the horses, and had Kuei and his escorts mount up. "This has to be Ozai's work, though we'll never be able to trace it back to him. He's too smart for that," muttered Fist as he buckled the saddles.

_How did he know? How did he find out? _was all that Kuei could think.

"Go. We'll take as many with us as we can. Ride straight for the central farmlands…hopefully you can lose them in some of the bordering forests. You can't ride for our holdings; Ozai will have stationed men there, and there are no towns anywhere near this region." Fist swallowed. "It...will be difficult to lose them." He looked to each of the knights. "Do whatever it takes to keep him going."

They nodded in response.

"May God protect you in this dark hour," finished Fist. "Now _go_!"

And with that, the king fled his failed summit.

When he looked back an hour later, he could see smoke rising over the treetops.

He tried and failed to hold back his tears. But there was nothing he could do now.

Just ride and pray.

(***)

Toph and Sokka were nearly upon the black riders when an arrow suddenly appeared in the shoulder of their intended victim; he stayed upright for about five seconds before finally tumbling off his horse. The black riders gave a great cheer but then were silenced when they saw the pair barreling down on them. The archer raised his bow but suddenly a knife appeared in his eye socket and he slid off his horse, which trampled the corpse underneath its hind limbs. One of the other men began to reach for his own bow but suddenly screamed as his right hand disappeared and blood began splattering everywhere.

Sokka's boomerang came to rest back in the spot from which he'd thrown it. He'd retrieve it once the battle was over.

Toph got to them first; after launching her horse over the wounded traveler, she leapt off and crashed into one of the other bandits. As they feel to the ground she wrenched her sword was free and before the man could recover she'd run the blade through his throat. She yanked it out and dashed back to the wounded figure. By this time Sokka had dismounted and was kneeling over the fallen figure. "He's alive!" he shouted. "Toph, I need you! Back me up here!"

Toph, who had been about to charge the confused riders, immediately ran back to Sokka; they formed a protective ring around the mystery man, walking in circles to their left and assessing their opponents.

The riders, not wanting to risk their horses getting injured, dismounted and formed a circle of their own around the pair.

"Walk away and say nothing of this, and we'll spare your lives."

"Bring it, fuckface," spat Toph.

The ten men charged, and the warriors went to work.

It was a real bloody mess; the bastards were well-trained and put up a hell of a fight. But slowly and surely ten become seven and then three and then one.

"I got this!" yelled Toph to Sokka. "Attend to our new friend!"

The last man (a woman, in fact) was a nasty bitch in every sense of the word (especially those teeth – _damn_). She was actually presenting Toph with something she'd not had for years – a challenging opponent. In fact, Toph was so focused on keeping up with her moves (and _damn_ she had moves) that she forgot to mind her surroundings.

She tripped over a rock and went down.

She managed to scramble aside but not before a searing pain erupted through her left side. She felt the familiar sensation of blood leaving her body.

The bitch grinned and pressed her attack even harder.

But time and trials had taught Toph how to channel pain and frustration into effort and soon enough she had the whore on the defensive.

Then came the opening Toph had been waiting for. She swung the flat of the blade down on her opponent's hand with all her might; the bitch yelped and released her grip on the blade for a fraction of the second – which meant she had no chance of recovery as Toph swung her sword at her head.

The decapitated woman fell to her knees and toppled over.

Toph wiped her weapon clean on the grass and sheathed it. She then clutched her side and winced as she allowed the pain of her injury back into the forefront of her mind. She pressed her left hand to staunch the flow of blood from the wound; she would bandage it later.

"Bitch," she muttered at the corpse as she walked back to Sokka.

**Duty is service.**

* * *

His eyes widened when he saw her bloody side.

"You're wounded," murmured Sokka with concern in his voice, and he started to rise. The bottom of his shirt was missing; he must've torn it to bandage up the stranger.

For whatever reason this perfectly normal action made Toph's heart melted a little – in fact, it had been melting at just about _everything_ Sokka did of late.

"Flesh wound," she said, waving at him with her free hand and praying he didn't see her blush. "How's our patient?" she asked as she approached.

"See for yourself," said Sokka, his face unusually solemn. Toph peered behind him and was shocked to find herself staring in the face of King Kuei.

"Your Majesty…" she said, beginning to bow but then remembering she should curtsey, then remembering she was _not_ a lady and tried to fight years of etiquette training.

To say the resulting gesture was comical was an understatement.

Kuei smiled. "Hello cousin. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Twelve years is a long time where family is concerned." He looked sadly at her. "They miss you terribly, you know."

"The Knights didn't need us," said Toph, trying to skirt the issue, "and I'm sure they got on just fine-"

"_Toph_," said Kuei, firmly.

And for the first time in sixteen years Toph felt guilty about running away from home.

"I know you parted on poor terms. And no, your parents still don't approve of what you did." Toph's face darkened. "But…believe me when I say that all they want to know is that you're safe and happy. It's been difficult for them, hearing all the stories about your exploits and all the mischief you two." Kuei coughed and winced. "But we can discuss that another time."

"We'll take you back to the capital," said Toph. "It's the least we can do."

"And there you will stay," said Kuei. "Both of you," he added, looking at Sokka.

"What?" shouted Toph indignantly.

"Your Majesty, I know we _may _have broken a few laws here and there-"

"You can't just make us order us, order me…" For the first time in ages Toph felt like crying.

"_We are the King!_" said Kuei, his voice suddenly louder and harder. "_And We will do as We see fit! For too long I have done otherwise, and We are done with it!_" His expression and voice softened._ "_But I do not bring you back to the city for the reasons you think. I see now that war is inevitable, and the Knights have been at peace for far too long. I need men and women who have tasted battle and blood. Your father will yell and scream and twist my ear after this but I just don't give a fuck anymore."

Toph felt a chill of dread and anticipation run through her.

"Toph Beifong, We would name you a Knight of the King, with all salaries and privileges retroactive to the date that you would have taken your vows. Furthermore, We would name you Lord Commander and charge you with the defense of Ba Sing Se, the royal personage, and the citizens of our great nation."

_…oh shit._

"Sokka…" Kuei hesitated.

"Son of Hakoda, Your Majesty," replied Sokka, his voice subdued.

"Thank you. Sokka, son of Hakoda, We would also name _you_ a Knight of the King. However, as your departure from the Knights was voluntary, I cannot in good conscience give you salaries and privileges retroactive to your intended date of vows. That is why I _also_ name _you_ as Lord Commander and confer upon you a title and holding of your own, to be held in perpetuity by your progeny and their progeny after them."

Toph was stunned. A title for Sokka? This was something unheard of for someone of his birth, even as a member of the King's Knights. And for her…a dream she had thought lost for twelve years was finally in her grasp again.

But she didn't want it. Not like this.

Becoming a King's Knight had been an escape route. A better use of her talents to be sure, but it was primarily an escape – an escape from a life of duty, or duty as her parents had seen it. When that dream was denied, she and Sokka had built a new dream, a _wonderful_ dream, one of adventure and excitement and _so full of life_. But now the knighthood was before her again, and it felt just as cold and limiting as her marriage bed might've ever been.

"I…I…Your Majesty…" stammered Toph. "We _can't_ accept. We just can't…"

"You _can_ and you _will._" Kuei winced as he experimentally moved his injured shoulder. "I am sorry to curtail you like this, Lady Beifong, but you are needed. _Both_ of you."

* * *

_"Duty is a hard mistress," Iroh conceded, "but it often yields its own rewards."_

* * *

Toph closed her eyes and swallowed.

_I may have aged_, she thought. _But I never really did grow up, did I? _

It seemed that now was the time.

"We humbly accept this burden of leadership and the duties inherent to our station," said Toph quietly. "It is an honor and a privilege to serve our king and his people."

"Good." Kuei smiled. "Good. Then We will speak no more of it. Help me stand." Toph and Sokka grasped him around his back and lifted him off the ground. He dusted himself off with his uninjured limb.

"We should get going as soon as possible. Thanks to those mountains the next town's at least two weeks away," warned Sokka. "We can send a messenger hawk as soon as we get there."

"Good," said Kuei. "Hopefully we'll make it back to the capital before my double." He got a confused look from both warriors. He smiled. "While I am here, King Kuei is also in the Icereach for a month long vacation and trade negotiations with the local lords."

A few of the attackers' horses had remained behind after the skirmish, so the trio switched mounts, and the swordsman sent their old steeds running. Sokka retrieved his boomerang and helped the injured Kuei onto his stallion. "You know, that's a pretty cool trick, having a body double," he said admiringly. "Could do with one myself…"

"In your dreams, Snoozles." Kuei giggled at the nickname and Sokka glared at Toph as never before, but she merely shrugged and tossed her head in the general direction of the capital.

But as the king and his escorts rode off into the distance, Toph shed a silent tear for the dream now lying dead on the hilltop.

**Duty is sacrifice.**


	5. Lost

**_Confessions are made. Set two weeks later _****_(warning: contains sexual content)_**.

* * *

After returning to Ba Sing Se with the injured king, Sokka and Toph's knighting ceremony had taken place with utmost swiftness. Preparations that usually took a month or more had to be squeezed into the space of couple weeks.

However, all the requisite traditions were still maintained.

On the night before their ceremony, Toph and Sokka were forced to take ice cold baths in order to clear the mind and focus the body. This hadn't stopped Toph from successfully bribing the attendants to let her into Sokka's room – he'd been _very _happy about that.

Then, after donning simple white shifts, they were locked in the palace chapel to reflect on their commitment to the order and the kingdom. An exhausted Sokka had quickly fallen asleep, and Toph kept vigil for the both of them with his head draped across her lap.

After the sun rose they were attended by the lowest-ranking recruits of the Knights, who dressed them for the ceremony. There was no time to properly fashion new plate armor worthy of a Lord Commander (much less two), so the warriors were dressed in chain mail and simple tunics bearing their respective sigils (Sokka, to Toph's amusement, had chosen the boomerang as his).

They were then taken back to the chapel where they were supposed to receive a lugubrious sermon, only to be surprised by the presence of Aang, who preached for about three minutes before the trio launched into a conversation that lasted for most of the allotted hour.

Finally they were escorted to the throne room, where King Kuei gave them the oaths and charges of the King's Knights before a throng of citizens and visiting nobility. A beaming General Iroh tapped his sword on their shoulders and proclaimed them members and commanders of the King's Knights. A great cheer went up from the assembly.

"I think that went well," murmured Iroh amidst the din of the crowd.

Toph unconsciously reached out for Sokka's hand, and the newly minted commander squeezed her fingers in silent solidarity.

"Yeah. I think so too," she replied softly.

* * *

Toph had been part of greeting processionals before, but never one this large. By the time she finally neared the line's end, her hands were red and sore. _I guess there _is _something more taxing on the hands than a few hours of swordfighting_, mused Toph.

But her physical pains suddenly vanished when she came to the last two people in line.

Toph went numb.

_They must've entered in after the ceremony started. Otherwise there's no way the doorman would have let them come in unannounced._

Lord and Lady Beifong had come to call on their wayward daughter.

Father, mother and child stared at one other, thoughts and emotions all twisting in their throats, choking any coherent form of speech.

Poppy was finally able to break through.

"You…you look…_healthy_, Toph. But your hair…well." She gave a sad smile. "You never cared much for it anyways."

A dozen thoughts raged in Toph's head. _You superficial _bitch_ how could you even think that / oh God _they're so old /_ I can't believe my looks are the first thing / I didn't think they'd change so much in twelve / of all the bullshit things- _

But sixteen years was a long time and in the end, blood won over sentiment.

Toph dived at her parents and clasped them tightly in her arms. They embraced her just as fiercely.

She stole a glance at Sokka, a pleading look in her eyes. _What should I do?_

In a motion imperceptible to anyone save Toph, Sokka tilted his head towards the palace gardens. _Go. Make your peace with them, if you can. I'll cover for you._

_Thank you._ Toph grabbed one parent in each hand. "You know, I haven't been to the palace gardens in _ages._ They're not as nice as the gardens in the Knights' compound, but they're still nice…"

(***)

Most the crowd had dispersed by the time Toph returned from the gardens (conspicuously alone). Sokka tried to assess the damage, but Toph keep her eyes downward, and her face was otherwise unreadable.

They stood together in awkward silence.

"So…" began Sokka as gently as he could. "How…did it go? Do you need…_want_ to talk about it?"

"It was…it was long overdue. And awkward. And painful. And totally necessary. But I think we understand each other better because of it. They still don't approve of _this. _They don't approve of you either." She smiled. "Told them outright that I fuck you on a regular basis."

"Please tell me you didn't actually say the word 'fuck.' Please tell me you used 'bed' or 'sleep with' or 'have carnal knowledge of.'" _Or "make love to." _Her sheepish grin told him the answer. "You said 'fuck,' didn't you?"

"Yeah. I did. With added emphasis and relish for extra effect." Sokka groaned, and Toph tried to look apologetic. "I won't lie, it was kinda fun seeing the blood drain from their faces," she began, "but in hindsight, it was wholly unnecessary. I was being a dick just to _be _adick rather than being a dick to get an actual point across. To be honest, they assumed that I had already lost my virginity – something about 'loafing about with commoners.'" She rolled her eyes. "My words just made it real for them." She paused. "I know they'd still want to salvage something from my 'promiscuity,' so I told them outright hat I had zero interest in marriage – at least, not to the men they would probably propose for me. But I also got some new context – I now know that their marriage plans weren't just part of a big business or political deal; my parents wanted to make sure I'd be cared for after they were gone. And I assured them that wouldn't be a problem – I have the strength and the resources to do that myself. Besides," she said, meeting Sokka's eyes for the first time, "I'll always have you around just in case."

Sokka _just barely_ resisted the urge to sweep her off her feet and kiss her.

"They told me outright that they will never approve of me being a King's Knight…but they haven't struck my name from the family registry either. I will always be a Beifong, and I will always be welcome in their hearts…maybe even in their home." Toph smiled for the first time. "That is, as long as you're not there with me. Propriety and all that."

Toph was surprised when Sokka engulfed her in a crushing bear hung. "I think I can live with that," he mumbled into her hair. He pulled back and gave a small cough. "And I'm glad you didn't lose them entirely. That's good."

General Iroh, who had been watching their conversation from some ten feet away, decided that now was as good a time as any to cut in. He walked over and clasped both warriors by the shoulders. "It has been a long time since the Kings' Knights have had a proper Lord Commander," said Iroh. "While I never officially held the title, the responsibility fell to me because there was frankly little else for me to do!" His face darkened. "But it seems inevitable that my brother will bring back my talents back to center stage." He sighed. "I had hoped…" he began sadly, but then his voice steeled up again. "But it will do us no good to hope or wish now." He hugged them both fiercely. "I would stay and enjoy the celebrations – I hear there are some excellent teas on the menu – but I must depart to marshal our outposts and garrisons, and rally those lords still loyal to the king."

"What about our foreign allies? What about hiring…" Iroh's cold smile stopped Toph dead in her tracks.

"Commander Beifong, if _we_ are scared shitless of a possible war with Ozai, why would anyone in their right mind want to involve themselves in our mess?"

He turned away and walked through the throne room doors.

It was the last time either of them saw General Iroh alive.

(***)

**_Four months later_**

"…I think we're lost." Sokka sighed in frustration.

"No shit, Snoozles. The question is _how_ we got lost. This countryside is practically our backyard."

Sokka gave her a look.

"…okay, I'll admit; we're a little out of our usual range. Still how the hell could you get us lost?"

"In my defense, we were kinda running for our lives. Little things like that can definitely throw a stick in your water wheel."

"That was a horrible analogy."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," replied Sokka testily.

"Goddamnit, I knew we shouldn't have worn this stupid armor," spat Toph.

"For the last time, we were sent as _ambassadors_," said an exasperated Sokka. "We had to make a good impression."

"You don't send an ambassador to your own subjects, only to foreign powers."

"Fine – messenger, representative, envoy, negotiator, angry parent with a paddle saying 'you've been a naughty boy, we're here to punish you' – take your pick. We had to look official."

"And why did _we_ have to go? Why not send an actual diplomat, you know, someone expendable instead of the two active leaders of the King's Knights?"

"Because we're courageous idiots who like to pick fights and poke political hornets' nests?" said Sokka with a grin.

"Perfect. We're courageous, slow-moving, pompous idiots in ridiculous armor trying to get ourselves killed on our first official mission as Knights of the King," grumbled Toph.

Sokka turned to look at his riding partner. Plate mail was cumbersome and a pain to put on, but somehow Toph made it look elegant and refined. She had also (with great reluctance and at her mother's suggestion) grown out her hair to shoulder length. _"You may be a soldier, but you are also representing His Majesty and his people," said Poppy. "Look the part as well as act it."_

_It suits her well. It suits her _very _well. _

"Well I think you look magnificent," said Sokka reverently.

Toph turned bright red. "Flatterer," she said.

"I do my best."

Toph stared off into the distance. "Well, at least we got an answer. Judging from the maps and troop figures we saw in his receiving room – stupid jerkface wanted to show off, try and intimidate us – Ozai will move against the kingdom within the year. Two years tops." She turned back to Sokka. "You know why they call him the 'Fire Lord,' right?"

"Yeah, I do, the creep," he said with a shudder. "And Zuko…what he did to Zuko was unforgiveable."

"At least he managed to escape." She paused. "But we'll be seeing Ozai's handiwork up-close soon enough."

_How fortunate for us_, thought Sokka sarcastically.

They rode in silence until the sun began to fall under the horizon.

* * *

Toph's next question came completely out-of-the-blue. "So…how's Ty Lee doing?"

Sokka nearly stopped his horse out of sheer panic. _Deflect, deflect._ "She's…fine, I guess," he answered cautiously.

"I just figured…I mean, we've been busy and all, what with running the King's Knights, but you haven't seen her in years, and you two were…well…you did…stuff…regularly."

_When did _she _get uncomfortable talking about sex?_ Sokka pushed the query out of mind. "She's married now. Some noblewoman from the Scorched Plains charmed her away while we were gone."

"Oh!" said Toph, surprised. "I didn't know she…well…"

"Why so shocked? _You've_ done it before," said Sokka.

"Only twice," said Toph, blushing. "And they were _incredible_ women. And there was alcohol involved." She mumbled this last bit.

"Well, regardless…I probably wouldn't have seen her anyways," he answered as casually as possible. "I mean, I…_she'd_ probably lost interest, what with me being gone for twelve years. And no woman can tie me down. You know that," he added weakly.

"Yeah…I guess you're right," said she replied softly. She smiled at him, but the look in her eyes _devastated_ him. He looked down at his mare's mane in shame.

The silence was deafening.

"Well…what about you, then?" said Sokka, not raising his head. "You've been noticeably…_quiet_…about your own adventures."

"You know the story. Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy. Girl rides boy's dick. Nothing special," she stammered. "I mean, nothing worth telling you about." She hesitated. "Sokka…"

"It's fine, Toph," he said, holding up a hand. "I shouldn't pry; it was none of my business."

"I…" Toph's mouth closed, and she sighed. "Let's just keep riding."

They didn't speak another word for three more hours.

(***)

As the last rays of light faded from the sky, they tied up the horses and set up their shared bedroll in silence. They built the smallest fire possible and ate dried meat for their supper. In an uncharacteristic display of modesty, they undressed with their backs turned and left their smalls on; Toph even left her breast bindings untouched. They lay under the blankets facing away from one another, keenly aware of the tension in their upper backs.

The twilight conversation had struck a nerve in both of them – touched something raw and powerful and dangerous that they had both been avoiding for a long time.

_We can't go on_ _like this, _realized Sokka. _I have to tell her the truth. All of it._

He took a deep breath, and fingered the cross around his neck. _God…spirits…whatever the hell might be out there…if you're listening to me…don't let me fuck this up._

"I was married," said Sokka quietly.

Toph bolted upright and turned to look at her bedmate, "…_what?! _You're _married?_"

"_Was_ married," corrected Sokka, with a sad smile. "And no, I'm not playing tricks. This is me being serious."

Toph, who was completely blindsided by the revelation, could only stare at Sokka in shock. "How come you never told me?"

"I wasn't ready to tell," said Sokka, his face darkening. "It's something that's haunted me since…well, since before you met me, really…the whole thing is…_difficult_…to explain."

Toph had heard many stories about marriage in her travels – kind spouses, abusive spouses, adultering spouses, lazy spouses, spouses that just got fed up and left in the night – but there was a particular tone that all storytellers used when speaking of the dead, even if at the end they'd hated the other person's guts and regretted ever saying his or her wedding vows.

_"I _was _married once_," echoed through her brain.

Toph felt a chill run through her. "Tell me the story," she said, lying back down and wrapping her arms around Sokka's shoulders.

He took a slow, deep breath. "When I was ten I was sent to work in the household of Lord Arnook – a very minor lord, but a lord nonetheless. My father was the mayor of one of his villages, and so it was expected that I would enter Arnook's service at some point. I worked with the hunting dogs." Sokka couldn't help but smile. "We would go out on the frozen plains and get foxes and squirrels and the like. On our better days we caught moose and deer and some of the great white bears that roam the region. The meat we'd salt and store; the pelts we cleaned and sold to the passing traders or offered as tribute to the higher lords." She could felt his heart rate spike. "One day I instructed to take meat to one of the older storerooms inside the main estate. I got completely lost of course – I'd never been allowed inside before, and I couldn't find anyone to give me directions, either. So I was stumbling around, going down corridors and up flights of stairs until I heard laughter coming from behind an open door. I walked inside…and there _she_ was."

There was an element of adoration in Sokka's voice that Toph had never heard before. "What was her name?" she whispered.

"Yue," he said with a sad smile. "Her name was Yue. She was Lord Arnook's only daughter. She was born with white hair – I mean, completely white, like an old person. Some said it was a punishment from God against her father. I thought it made her look beautiful…it suited her personality. Innocent. Caring. Good-natured." Toph could see his cheeks darken. "It was love at first sight. For both of us. "

"So what happened?"

"Her maids tried to hustle me away, but Yue came to the door, asked what I was doing at her room – she'd never been allowed to interact with any of the younger male staff, you see – and I said I was looking for the old storerooms. She shyly grabbed my arm and said she'd take me there herself. The maids protested, but she just ignored them. After we got to the storeroom I gave her a kiss on the cheek, because the stable hands told me that's what you were supposed to do when a pretty girl did something nice for you." He smiled briefly. "In retrospect, I think they were talking about something else."

Normally Toph would've laughed at that remark, but she just squeezed Sokka instead.

"We kept our 'relationship' – as if ten year-olds can really know what being boyfriend and girlfriend really means – a secret. She started taking more trips around the grounds, and she would just _happen_ to pass through the hunting lodge every single time. Whenever she went riding she made sure I was always part of the escort 'just in case we saw a bear.' She claimed that she wanted a set of nice fur coats (all homemade), and that her regular guards would just hack away at the beasts in her defense, utterly destroying the pelts. So we rode together and exchanged small talk and jokes and when the escort wasn't looking we would smile and pucker our lips at one another." He smiled. "You know, kid stuff."

"So what went wrong?"

Sokka's body stiffened. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," pleaded Toph. "You don't…"

Sokka rolled over to face her, brought a hand up to her cheek. "Yes," he said solemnly. "Yes I do. For both our sakes." A tear fell from his left eye. "I have to," he whispered. He took a shuddering breath. "When we were both fourteen, Yue was promised to Hahn, son of Lord Innu, the man who runs the Icereach for Kuei." Sokka grimaced. "To say he's an asshole is an understatement. Regardless, our rides and her visits steadily decreased – she was too busy getting prepared for her new life. And I think Arnook was becoming suspicious that she was attached to _someone _in the household – whether he suspected me personally, I don't know. But it didn't matter, really. I had already resigned myself to the fact that Yue was going out of my life. I'd even arranged to go on a hunting trip so I wouldn't be there when she left – I didn't think I could handle it. Then the night before I was supposed to leave, there was a knock on my door. To my surprise, it was a teary-eyed Yue who stood outside. I hastily brought her in, and the two of us were alone."

"Wait…you had a room all to yourself?"

Sokka smiled. "There are benefits to being the best hunter in a lord's service. Anyways, Yue had come to say goodbye – and she was yelling at me for being such a coward and apologizing for the marriage which she had _no_ control over, and then lamenting that her betrothed was a _jerk_ and that she'd heard all the tales of his 'romantic' life and how there was no chance he'd be faithful or loving to her and…and…well, I grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. It was our first kiss," he added quietly, "which should've been fine, really…except that we didn't stop there. Far from it." The tears began to flow in full. "We were young and hot-blooded and had only loved each other from afar and after all that time, the _temptation_…it was _stupid._ And then afterwards she stared at the bloodspots on the sheets and cried because she was ruined and her family name was dishonored and her father would hate her for the rest of her life. I felt completely responsible – I shouldn't have kissed her…I had no right to kiss her…it wasn't _right_. But what was done could not be undone. So we took the only possible course of action left to us – we ran. I grabbed what supplies I could from the kitchens, and we took my favorite hunting stallion from the stables. We rode long and hard, stopping only to rest the horse every so often. Somehow we made it to the central farmlands without getting caught. Then I found us a priest. Had to make an honest woman out of her and what not." Sokka couldn't help but grin through his tears. "We wanted Momo as our witness but the priest wouldn't allow it. We got an old flower lady to do it instead."

"Who's Momo?"

"The horse. I named it after an old dog of mine who drowned trying to grab a seal." Toph gave him an odd look. "Another time," he said, deciding to press on. "Yue and I found an abandoned shed out in the grasslands. We cleaned it up and made ourselves a home. She started a garden. I would hunt and fish. We were happy…then she missed her moon, and we were even happier. We were going to be a family – a real family." Sokka let out a strangled sob. "And then the heavens pissed on my joy…on our joy."

"Sokka…" Now tears started to fall from _her_ eyes.

"I wasn't even gone for that long…maybe five or six hours at the most…I've had hunting trips take way longer than that, but it _doesn't matter_ how long I was gone because I wasn't there and…I came back and saw the shattered glass and splintered door and I knew what I would find but I was _praying, hoping, wishing_…I didn't even recognize her!" He wailed. "Her body was naked and swollen and broken and I retched at the sight of it. What they'd doneto herwas base and vile and…_they ran a blade through her womb! They used her and then they killed our child and then they slit her throat!_ _And you know what the_ _worst part_ _was?!" _he screamed. "**They weren't there waiting for me! **They should've been there with naked swords and bared teeth and ugly smiles and I should've _died right there on the floor next to her_! But somehow I knew that she'd told them where I was…someplace close enough to make the trip worthwhile but _nowhere _near my hunting grounds. _And they believed her._" He shuddered. "There was nothing left for me there. I washed her body, wrapped it up and set it out on a nearby tributary – best I could do without an ocean. I torched the house, got back on Momo and went to Ba Sing Se. I joined the King's Knights, hoping that I might one day protect others from suffering a similar fate. I closed off my heart and drowned myself in a sea of women in order to dull the pain of her loss. It might've worked too if the letter hadn't come through."

"What letter?"

"'The letter from priest who officiated our ceremony. It added a week to my trip, but I went to see him before I left for the capital, asked him to pray for Yue's soul wherever it may be. He surprised me by asking for a sketch of her face, and when it was done he placed it on the memorial wall of the church. The same group of bandits came through and ransacked the place; the priest hid himself in a secret closet and overheard two men talking about the 'white-haired bitch' and saying that my portrait didn't show her tears well enough. He'd seen their sigil and sent me drawings of some of their faces. All thoughts of justice and fairness left my head and _all _I wanted now was _revenge._ Fighting them in my current state would've been tantamount to suicide, but I knew where I could learn the necessary skills to have my revenge. So that same night I slipped my letter of resignation under Iroh's door and left. When I came back two years later, the job was done. I nearly got myself killed in the process – but it was done. I had my revenge. And I felt worse than ever before." He averted his eyes. "Remember that job I came to get the night we left Ba Sing Se?"

Toph nodded.

"It was an almost impossible mission. The client had every reason to be secretive about his intentions. I was prepared to go in – but in truth, I had no intention of coming out of it alive. I was going to go out into the wild and let myself be sliced up into tiny pieces and left to rot in an unmarked grave – until I saw you in the Jasmine Dragon."

Toph's heart stopped.

"I don't know what it was…the why or the how…but, I looked at you, and…and…I saw…_a chance_. I saw a chance to make someone happy. _Really, truly_ happy. It's all she ever wanted, Toph – she wanted to be happy. And after everything that happened, I couldn't bear to see someone I cared about be denied that opportunity. And I_ swear_ on her and my mother's memory that I wasn't trying to _save _you or be your '_knight in shining armor_.' You didn't need to be saved. You didn't _want_ to be saved by anyone except yourself. What I said in the Jasmine Dragon wasn't true," he whispered. "You _would_ have been fine without me. You'd have been _brilliant._ _Maybe_ you _would've_ struggled more," he admitted. "But you would have _risen_ and you would've been _brilliant _and you'd be just _fine_." He choked up. "But no. The truth is that _I_ needed _you_. I needed you to give me purpose. I needed someone to keep me sane. I needed someone to kick me back into the land of the living. I needed someone to carry me…I needed _you_ to carry me. You were the only one who could do it. I just _knew_ it." He looked into her eyes with sadness and desperation. "So I teased and belittled and made my _grand gesture _because I knew you'd take the bait and come with me and give me a reason to live when I had stopped finding them for myself. And it was stupid and selfish and weak of me and _oh God Toph I'm so sorry-_"

Toph dove forward and kissed him harder than she'd ever done before. Time and thought and feeling all slowed to that moment, that contact between her lips and his, and Toph finally acknowledged the truth screaming in her face: she was in love with Sokka and would willingly lose herself in that love.

"Sokka…just shut up, _shut up-_" she pleaded through her tears.

"I know you must hate me right now…but you've come to mean so much to me and my life has been _so rich _with you in it and it's been _eating me _keeping the truth of it all from you, and Toph…Toph I…I…"

"_No._" She put a finger to his lips. "**No.**"

"Toph, _please_," he begged in anguish. _Please, let me say it._

_No, no no. _"Sokka you can't, _you just can't,_" she sobbed. "No words," she whispered, as her hands snaked into his smalls. "No more words."

* * *

They frantically clawed at each other, kissing and biting and scratching, as if making wounds in their flesh would finally allow the contents of the hearts to spill out; Sokka grabbed the wrappings over Toph's breasts, but she shook her head. _Rip them open_, her eyes said.

Sokka grabbed the fabric just below her armpit and tore the bindings apart, one hand grabbed desperately at Toph's chest and the other went to twist the swollen nub between her legs.

Soon afterwards Toph found herself on her back with Sokka's head between her legs and she came once, twice, thrice and then she was riding a endless wave of fire and _oh God her clit was burning_ but she didn't tell him to stop.

She would take the pain for his sake.

Then she was on her stomach with the head of his cock rubbing up and down her slit, and Toph was ready to explode and then she felt Sokka's lips brush against her ear.

"I'd be lost without you," he whispered, his voice broken and frail.

"I'm glad you found me," she whispered back, her voice equally broken.

He slid into her, Toph came again, and she screamed her anguish to the heavens.

He rode her for what seemed like ages, his fingers bruising her hips, his tears cooling her burning skin. Then he pulled out and she sobbed in frustration, but he merely turned her onto her back and slid in again. She wrapped her legs around his waist and made circles around her clit as he pounded into her; they both came, but Toph did not feel the familiar rush of seed.

"You didn't…" began Toph. But his only response was to gently lift her up until she was settled in his lap.

They had not coupled this way since that cold night nearly eight years prior.

All sense of control was gone, all pretense of affection abandoned; all that mattered was the fire, and the fire was spreading from their groins to their legs and feet and through their chests and arms and up their necks.

Then as the fire reached the tip of her skull, Sokka exploded inside of her.

The flames burst into a thousand brilliant points of light and emotion.

His teeth clamped down on her shoulder, he screeched in agony and his arms crushed her body like a mill stone.

She threw back her head and opened her mouth to say the words, to _finally say the GODDAMN WORDS_ but all she could muster was a wail of pure, unadulterated despair.

* * *

Sokka pulled them backwards _so gently_ until his body rested against the ground and Toph lay sprawled on top of him.

She dared to look at him, only to see her own terrified, wondrous expression reflected in his eyes.

_We scream it to the heavens, shout it to our souls, and yet all that escapes our lips is silence._

"There's no one else," she pleaded. "There's been no one else for _ages_ and…"

"I know...I know…me too," was his faint reply.

He tried to lift her off, but her walls clamped down and her legs tightened against his waist. "Don't move. Don't go. Stay," she whispered. "Please stay."

And so with hiccups and sobs and tear-stained cheeks the pair drifted off to sleep, their loins still joined in bittersweet union, each lover cursing themselves for their cowardice; for all their bravery and strength and stern neither one of them could not bring themselves to utter the three simple words that would set them free.

And it was killing them both.


	6. Loose Cannon

**TW: **contains threats/descriptions of rape, in both specific and non-specific terms.

**_Silence falls. Set two years later._**

* * *

"Your sister's fucking Aang."

Anyone else would've felt guilty at the look of horror on Sokka's face. Not Toph.

"Oh God why would you even say that?" groaned Sokka.

"Thought you should stay in the loop," she quipped as she sat next to him on the ramparts. "That," she added, "and to see the look on your face."

"You're an evil person and I hate you forever," he muttered resentfully.

She chuckled and kissed his cheek. "It's the end of the world. I have to get my kicks in somehow."

They gazed out over the edge of Ba Sing Se; the campfires of Ozai's host were a thousand points of red and orange in the darkening sky. It was…oddly beautiful, to be honest. It was a shame that those myriad points of light were comfort to men and women hell bent on killing every living soul inside the city.

"How did you even…" began Sokka incredulously.

"I found them arguing about their respective gods and whether or not they had taken sides in the war. When I joked that the two of them should just take it to the confessional already, Aang turned bright red and Katara started stammering about the oppressive patriarchy of the Christian belief system. Neither of them could look at the other and their eyes practically screamed 'oh-shit-we-just-got-busted.' So yeah," she added triumphantly, "those two fu-uh, _found comfort_ in each other."

Sokka squirmed against her but remained silent.

"To be honest, I never pegged Aang as the sex-before-marriage type. He was always such a straight-laced person," said Toph, curiosity in her voice.

"So's Katara," replied Sokka, equally curious. "I'm almost positive that he was her first." Sokka blanched. "I can't believe I _actually_ said that out loud." He frowned at Toph. "You're a bad influence, you know that?"

She patted him gently on the hand. "It's okay Sokka. It's okay."

"No it's not! I asked her to come here so she'd be safe, not so my best man-friend could deflower her right under my nose."

"_We_ asked her to come because 'witch' or not, she's one of the finest healers in the country. And we both know the only reason she came is because aside from your letter about Yue and one secret visit to Ba Sing Se, she's not seen or heard from you for over fifteen years."

"Well…I…you win. Again."

She nuzzled against his neck. "And don't worry about Aang and Katara. They love each other," she said softly. "It was written all over their faces."

She slipped her fingers between his and they squeezed hands.

"Yeah. I guess being trapped behind the same walls for six months really helps with community bonding."

_And yet you and I still can't say "I love you" to each other's faces. _

"We're going to make it aren't we?" asked Sokka suddenly. "Can we really lead this city through its worst crisis since Chin the Barbarian?"

"We'll make it," said Toph determinately. "Or we'll go down trying." She smirked. "Speaking of going down…"

"No," groaned Sokka. "Don't even think about it."

"The night watch won't be up here for another twenty minutes, and we're too high for the men on the murder holes to hear us…"

"I said _no_, Toph." He winced at her crestfallen expression. "But I'll take a rain check for later tonight. On things going down on places. As long as it's not just you."

"I'm not really into threesomes, Sokka."

"You know what I mean."

"I do. And I will."

"Tonight then." He kissed her softly on the lips.

"My Lord Commanders!" came a shout from afar.

"See? I knew waiting was a good idea," said Sokka, smugly.

"You just got lucky," muttered Toph, but the pair straightened up as the runner approached them.

"Sir Duke, it's good to see you," said Toph, giving the newly minted Knight a smile. "I hope you bring good news."

"Only the best, Commander," he replied with a grin. "The bastard's finished."

"What do you mean?" asked Sokka.

"We've had messenger hawks from the Icereach, the Eastern Wastes and the Northern Tier. The King's Army has successfully repelled the Fire Lord's forces in all three areas. Reinforcements from the Icereach will be here in two weeks time, the Northern Tier forces maybe a week after that."

"Then that's it," said Toph, her spirits lifting. "It really is over. Even with all the storeroom sabotages we should have just enough supplies to make it until the King's Army reinforcements arrive. But if something should go wrong…" Toph's face darkened. "We _can't_ lose Ba Sing Se. It's too big a symbol to risk losing it to that shithead. Ozai can pound on our doors till everyone inside is bones and dust, but he will _not _step _one foot _in this city. No army has ever breached the walls of Ba Sing Se, and I don't mean for her to lose her virginity on my watch." She turned to Sir Duke. "Find the section lieutenants, tell them to meet us at the palace on the seventh hour; I want them to bring a list of Knights and city guardsman under their command, as well as any tactical suggestions they have for open combat."

"Open combat, Commander?" asked Sir Duke, hesitantly.

"Ozai's men have slaughtered, raped and stolen from thousands of innocent people. They killed one of my greatest mentors and defiled his corpse for their master's amusement. And for the past six months I've been cooped up in this goddamn city unable to do a single thing about it." Toph's eyes were ablaze with fury. "When our reinforcements get here I mean to ride out, give those cunts hell_,_ then send them there drowning in their own blood with our swords up their asses. Come, Sokka," she said, dragging her partner off the masonry, "we've got work to do."

Word quickly spread around the city. _Reinforcements are coming. The would-be-king's days are numbered. Our salvation is at hands._ And in truth, there was much rejoicing.

For one man, however, the news was hardly worth celebrating.

Long Feng knew that Ozai cared little about Ba Sing Se besides the enormous political and psychological effects its conquest would have for his ascendancy – his estate in the Scorched Plains would become the new capital of their great nation. But the eunuch had ambitions. He had plans – plans that involved him taking absolute control of the city. Ozai would think nothing of such a request if Feng had brought Ba Sing Se to its knees from within.

As long as supplies were adequate, Ba Sing Se could hold out for years – it had done so during the time of Chin the Barbarian. So Feng (through a few trusted allies) engineered sabotages on food, water and medicine in the hopes of crippling the city's defenders and destroying any hope of survival. But _every single time_ the bitch and her lapdog managed to turn his meddling on its head. The severe rationing had become a point of community honor rather than a poison dart for dissent. Now the tides had turned against Ozai's other forces, and Feng no longer had the chance to get at the city's stores; they were too well guarded and only Beifong and His Majesty had authorization to access them.

But…there _were_ other options.

He was actually surprised to find out that the thing existed at all; it was such a glaring weakness. _But all kings are secretly cowards, _thought Long Feng.

A search of the more uncared for sections of the palace archives yielded a faded map with a series of instructions and a long black line running to just past Ozai's rear guard.

Feng gave a malicious grin.

_Secret tunnel…_

* * *

That night, every one of the King's spies in Ozai's camp felt the cold brush of steel across their necks.

About two hundred men were hand-picked and assembled behind the camp kitchens before disappearing into the night.

In the privacy of his tent Fire Lord Ozai, wine glass in hand, reread the letter and grinned.

"Every war has its traitors," he said with satisfaction.

(***)

It was the hour of the second watch, and the Lord Commanders of the King's Knights were nestled under the bedsheets inside their training house quarters. They had just finished their second round of sex (and had started a third) when Toph was struck with an eerie sensation that reminded her of the tub of cold water at her knighting ceremony.

It was an intensely overpowering sense of foreboding.

_It scared the __**shit**__ out of her._

"Out. Off. **_Now_**," she barked at Sokka.

The warrior immediately withdrew from her warm heat and scrambled out of the way as Toph bounded off the bed, heading straight for the sword rack. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically fearful. _She's never acted like this before._

"Catch," she said, tossing him his blade, then hefting her own.

"Toph-"

"Something's wrong. I don't know _how_ I know, there was just this…I know I sound cra-"

The door to their room shattered.

Five men stormed inside, their tunics emblazoned with the crimson phoenix of Fire Lord Ozai.

Four of them headed for Toph.

The last went straight for Sokka.

The lone soldier immediately thrust his sword at Sokka's groin, but he knocked the blade downwards. The soldier recovered and with surprising speed rammed a fist into Sokka's side. The warrior stumbled backwards and tripped over the bed, which actually saved him when his assailant's sword came crashing down in the spot he should've been standing in. Sokka, sword still in hand, picked himself back up and lunged at his opponent, but was almost decapitated with a vicious horizontal swing; his quick reaction saved his head, but his foe scored first blood by slicing a line across the top of Sokka's chest.

Suddenly, the commander got an idea.

He leaned forward, slowly circling around until his back was against a thick wooden table. He widened his stance and jerked forward, successfully provoking the soldier to go for another hard lunge. Sokka waited until the last possible moment to dodge, and was satisfied to see the man's sword plunge deep into the sturdy table. When the soldier tried to yank the blade out, he found that it was stuck.

Sokka's sword came down in a deadly diagonal slice, and Ozai's soldier was split up from shoulder to waist. The body slid to the floor, blood oozing from the corpse.

Sokka turned to help Toph but was horrified when he saw her covered in blood…at least until he noticed the four corpses at her feet.

"Took you long enough," she said, dropping her sword with a grunt. She noticed the look of concern on his face. "Don't worry; none of it is mine." She walked over to their personal armory closet. "We'll have to wear mail; we don't have the time to deal with the all the plate bullshit right now."

"Toph…how the _fuck-_"

"We can't worry about who, what, when, why, how," she said firmly. "We have to deal with the _now_, and the _now _demands that we sound the alarm."

They hastily threw on shirts and trousers, not even bothering with their smalls; they hurriedly slipped on the mail shirts and other accoutrements that went with it.

"Head for the bell towers," said Toph as she fumbled with a gauntlet. "I'm sure Ozai's men have seized them, but I don't think they've brought enough men to destroy them outright. Those bells are the only chance we'll have of getting the rest of the city up in time. We should consider the gates already open and waiting for his army. I'll stay here, rouse the remaining Knights, assuming the fuckers didn't already kill them all. I'll send others to help you with the towers." She grimaced. "We man the internal defense positions first, then send anyone we have left off to the gates. If they're still closed, that's great. If they're open you can bet they've destroyed the mechanisms and…well…" She gave a sad smile. "When I was small I dreamed of fighting in a big storybook battle. If you'd told me then how much I'd actually hate it, I'd have called you crazy."

Finally, they grabbed their shields. Iroh had had them specially commissioned, and they were engraved with words that he believed reflected each of their personalities.

"Endurance," said Toph, pointing at Sokka's shield.

"Courage," he said, pointing at hers.

She pulled him down for a kiss, a kiss that was made of equal parts hope and desperation.

_Love. Love. Say "love."_

"For luck," said Toph hesitantly. "Just in case…well, you know." She kissed him again. "Now get outta here. Go kick their asses."

Sokka raised his sword in salute and, after a quick check of the corridor, disappeared from her sight.

* * *

Under normal circumstances, ten men fighting one man on a confined stairwell would almost always result in the death of the one.

When Sokka gutted the last man inside the north-most bell tower, he silently congratulated himself on his skill and finesse. He said a quick prayer for the two city guardsmen whose throats had been slit and then went to examine the state of the bell.

_They kept the rope intact, _realized Sokka. Perhaps they meant to celebrate their conquest with a bell-ringing once the dust and blood of war had settled.

"Not tonight," said Sokka grimly as he pulled the rope with all his might. "_Not tonight._"

The *THOON* *THOON* of the bell was one of the sweetest sounds Sokka had ever heard.

After ten seconds of ringing, Sokka released the cord and peered over the edge to watch the city below. To his satisfaction, the glow of candle lights began to spread from house to house like wildfire.

_And there's goes the northern guardhouse. They were always light sleepers, that lot._

He climbed out of the tower and jumped onto the wall, ignoring the pain of impact as best he could. Then he saw the bodies of all the night watchman strewn across the stones, and white-hot anger burned in his veins.

_I will not let them win. I _cannot _let them win._

The next tower was at least a ten minute walk away if not longer. But he would be _damned_ if he couldn't make it there in three.

_God, give me such strength and speed as I have never needed before_.

And then he was off running along the wall.

* * *

As the bells rung, little by little, the city of Ba Sing Se woke up.

As the bells rung, guardsman grabbed helmets and uniforms, dispatching men to strongholds and choke points throughout the city.

As the bells rung, men and women grabbed knives, pitchforks and hoes, whatever they could find, and took to the streets.

As the bells rung, families calmed their crying children and hid themselves in attics and basements.

As the bells rung, a stoic King Kuei donned his armor, determined that though he had not lived as a warrior, he would die fighting for his people.

As the bells rung, a small group of guards made a valiant effort to retake the gate, but Ozai's men held fast.

As the bells rung, Toph rallied the King's Knights around the nation's banner.

As the bells rung, Ozai ordered the first wave of his forces to advance.

As the bells rung, the gates of Ba Sing Se swung open.

As the bells rung, her defenders took their places.

The first invader to ever set foot in Ba Sing Se was killed two seconds later, felled by an arrow in the eye.

As the bells rung, the Battle of Ba Sing Se was joined.

(***)

As the sun rose, a haze had settled over the battlefield.

Ba Sing Se was burning.

Countless fires raged across the city, and soldiers and citizens alike tried desperately to put them out. And in all the chaos and destruction, the gods dealt out life and death indiscriminately.

In the pleasure district, a courtesan's well-aimed wood axe saved the life of a young boy, and with no one else in sight she took the child into her arms and carried him away from the smoke and carnage.

In the west section of the city, Aang and Katara were a razor wind of death and destruction; Katara deftly weaved around and in between Ozai's men to slit their throats; Aang, a heavy crucifix in hand, was bashing in skulls left and right.

In the southeast section, one of Ozai's soldiers took his pleasure of a wailing widow, her eyes fixated on the corpse of her husband not three feet away. When he was finished, he mercifully slit her throat.

And at the gates of the city, the corpses littered the cobblestones, the gutters awash with the blood of thousands of souls.

But the defenders still held firm.

After seven long, agonizing hours Toph and the forces of King Kuei, while nowhere near restoring control over the city, had put up an effective fight against Ozai's forces. There were hot spots to be sure: the royal palace, where Ozai's men had breached the outer walls but were being repelled by the Knights and guardsmen within; the marketplace, which had become a run-and-cover affair between members of both sides entrenched in its alleyways; the bell and guard towers were _hotly _contested, as they provided excellent vantage points for archers and strategists alike.

But by far the bloodiest point of action was the gates. The fighting had been almost non-stop since the battle began, and Toph had been there for most of the action. The sheer volume of enemy soldiers and horses entering the city meant that she was forced to let some of them through unhindered – she _hated _the idea that innocent people would get hurt because of it. But it minimized their own casualties and allowed the Knights to keep a critical foothold at the entrance to the city.

_Maybe we _will _make it, _thought Toph.

Then the warning horn sounded. Toph peered out the gate and saw the dust of Ozai's reserves – which was at least half his army – bearing down on them.

_Maybe not._

Then came a sound that Toph never thought she'd hear – one long horn blast, followed by three short ones. That only meant one thing. _Ozai's taken the field. He'll be fighting alongside his men. Which means…_

The old proverb about snakes and heads gave Toph her first reason to smile in more than seven hours.

* * *

It was brutal.

It was brutal and it was draining and _by God_ did she want it to end.

By saving half his army until now, Ozai had successfully worn down the physical and mental states of the defenders of Ba Sing Se. The men at the gates were forced to let more and more of Ozai's monsters into the city. So far the Knights were still holding on – but not for much longer.

Toph was dueling one of Ozai's colonels when the prick managed to trip her onto her back. She landed hard on her knee, already strained from an earlier injury, and the intense pain utterly paralyzed her. Toph didn't even have the will to try and roll away from him.

A familiar sword erupted from the colonel's chest, and when it withdrew the corpse fell to the ground, now a shell of its former self. Two strong arms gently pulled her up into a sitting position, and Toph's spirit was reinvigorated.

"Sorry I'm late," said Sokka, using the phrase seriously for the first time in his life. "Was fighting a fire. Well, more like twelve fires. I didn't realize that three hours would go by so quickly. Then I heard the warning horn and I got back here as fast as I could." His face darkened. "It's getting bad in there. The palace is gone, but Kuei managed to escape and he's actually been leading a squad of guards, taking care of stray soldiers. But the market's lost. So are half the guardtowers, and while the belltowers are holding, we can't supply fresh defenders. We're starting to have four-to-one, five-to-one fights, and we can't sustain that. We need to shut this down. _Now_."

"I agree. But there's only one way to do it, and I can't seem to find him-"

"**Commander Beifong. Commander Sokka. What a pleasure it is to see you both again."**

Fire Lord Ozai was clad in a suit of blood-red armor with gold highlights that blazed in the light of the morning sun. Behind him flowed a great black cape emblazoned with the phoenix he'd chosen as the new sigil. And his weapon…a massive, two-handed flaming sword.

"Ozai," replied Toph as casually as possible. "Do you prefer 'Lord' or 'Fire Lord?'"

**"You will address me as 'Phoenix King Ozai,' wench."**

"Okay Loser Lord," said Toph with a grin.

**"Assuage your broken pride with feeble insults. But we all know that you cannot stand against this assault." **He spread out his arms. **"Surrender now, and I will spare the lives of all the remaining defenders." **He pointed at Sokka.** "I will even spare the life of the whelp. As for you Lady Beifong, I assure you that you will forget this mongrel once you are in my sweet embrace. I will bed you every single night and get a dozen sons on you, and you will please me in every aspect of life, as a proper noble woman should."**

"And if I refuse?"

**"Then I will take you by force. I will fuck you until you bleed. I will make you writhe and squirm and ****_beg_**** from underneath me and bring utter ruin upon your soul." **He stroked his chin thoughtfully.** "Perhaps I will make your dog watch me take you. Again. And again. And again. Then when his mind is shattered I will kill him and take you on top of his corpse. And you will bear my seed and come to hate yourself even more for loving them."**

Toph looked at Sokka.

Sokka looked at Toph.

There was nothing left to discuss.

"**_Fuck you, asshole,_**" they yelled in unison, and charged the treasonous Fire Lord.

* * *

Ozai was a surprisingly competent when it came to defense. He expertly blocked and parried every blow that Toph and Sokka seemed to throw at him. Beyond that, he had the uncanny ability to sense whenever a city guard or King's Knight tried to sneak up behind him; they would quickly find themselves amongst the dead, and Ozai would continue his duel with the Lord Commanders as if nothing had happened.

At first things seemed evenly matched, even with Ozai fully rested and at peak mental condition. But while Toph and Sokka had been fighting for seven hours straight, Toph had been constantly immersed in the thickest and most intense fighting, and she was flagging. Ozai sensed a weakness and began to press harder against Toph's assaults, and her reaction time got slower and slower.

Ozai got his chance when Sokka attempted to take a blow meant Toph. Ozai swung his sword down and around, got in close and kneed Sokka hard in the stomach; the warrior doubled over and Ozai slammed him into the ground with his boot. Sokka's sword fell to the dirt at Ozai's feet, and he snapped the blade under foot.

**"Just you and me now, wench," **he said, advancing on Toph with a grin. He came at her twice as hard now, and Toph began to lose feeling in her hands.

Finally, as she raised her arms for a feeble block, Ozai's sword knocked hers away; Toph head whipped from the massive backhand he gave her, and she went crashing face up into the dirt.

Ozai pressed a boot to her chest, making sure the toe point dug painfully into her sternum.

**"I thought you had more fire than this," **said Ozai disappointedly.

Toph tried to crawl away but she couldn't move from under him.

**"And without that fire, you're not good for anything. Not breeding, not pleasure. Nothing." **

_This is how it ends_, thought Toph, an eerie calm descending over her.

**"Goodbye, Lord Commander."**

She closed her eyes.

Ozai's sword whistled through the air.

The blade punctured the chain mail, ripping through flesh and guts and bone and spirit until it exited out the other side and buried itself in the dirt.

Her eyes opened again, and Toph Beifong was dead.

* * *

_Her body had somehow moved five feet from where it was supposed to be._

_Her body was somehow intact and functional._

_Sokka's body was somehow impaled upon Ozai's sword, right in the spot where she was supposed to be._

_Sokka._

_Sokka._

_SOKKA._

_She willed the tears to flow, but they did not come. _

_They would not come._

* * *

_He gave a half-hearted gasp, as if he himself couldn't believe what was happening. As if he couldn't believe that, without the time or a weapon to stop Ozai from killing the woman he loved, he dove into her, pushing her out the way so he could take the blade instead of her._

_He looked over and saw the light in her eyes flicker out, saw the fight punched out of her by this one thing, this one terrible, unimaginable thing, and he knows that Toph has disappeared, that she is gone and unless he does something she will be lost forever. _

_And he knows exactly what to do. _

_It's time. _

_His final prayer to God asks that He will let her understand him._

_He opens his mouth._

* * *

_She sees his lips move and no sound comes out, but something within the husk of Toph Beifong recognizes the motion; she's seen it countless times in the mirror and on the lips of so many faces, so many people but never before on his face and the thing within her husk finally convinces the river of tears to unleash their healing waters._

_Three words._

_Three words._

_The only three words that ever mattered._

**I love you.**

_ Then Ozai's boot slams into Sokka's head, his brains splatter everywhere, and Toph is reborn as an angel of fire and death._

* * *

Ozai chuckled as he removed the sword from Commander Sokka's belly. He was pleased to see that the flames cauterized the wound – he should keep the corpse, have his physicians study the damage. _Ah, but I can't forget the wench, now can I? Though after losing her bitch, perhaps she'd prefer to roll over and die._

Ozai turned to face his fallen foe and is struck down by a nauseating horror.

Toph Beifong stood before him, but it is not the same Toph who he just beat down a moment ago, not the same Toph who watched helplessly as he gutted her most treasured friend and ally. This was something new and raw and _terrible._

The noises of battle faded away, the shouts and screams of the living and the dying shrank to nothing.

The look in her eyes said it all.

The thing masquerading as Toph reached down to pick up her fallen sword.

Phoenix King Ozai ran for his life.

* * *

She chased him through the battlefield, some supernatural force giving her a renewed sense of strength, narrowing her focus, narrowing her reality to the bastard in the black cape who'd murdered her best friend, her comforter, the man who loved her more than anything else in his life.

Ozai dived into a guardhouse by the gate, and Toph followed him.

She heard him shout orders to his troops stationed on the stairwell, and the fools did as they were told, but they were not Ozai so she tore through them like a knife through silk, blood and bodies piling up on the steps behind her.

And then she emerged on top of the wall, and he was panting like the wild dog, and his face blanched when he saw her, because he knew and she knew that it would not end until his corpse lay at her feet.

To his credit, he fought like a man about to die – he held nothing back, he gave all he had: scratching, biting, diving; their swords flashed in the sunlight in seamless silver arcs.

_But she was going to win._

At last, _at long last_, Ozai faltered, and her next blow flipped the sword from his hand, sent it spinning over the wall.

_Justice, vengeance, grief, revenge, endings, _thought Toph as she began the final blows.

She stabbed him through the arm, and Ozai hissed in pain. "That was for betraying your king!"

She removed the blade and he swung wildly at her. This time she took off his whole left foot, and he howled in agony. "That was for dishonoring _your own brother's corpse!_"

She backhanded him _hard_ across the face, and was rewarded with the sight of three teeth and a mouthful of blood. "That was for _maiming your own fucking son!_" she yelled.

She pulled out the throwing knife from her belt and found a chink in his groin plate. The *_squelch*_ of his ruined manhood was intensely gratifying for Toph, as was his blood-curdling scream. "That was for the good people of this country you _murdered_ to satisfy your _stupid. Fucking. Pride!_"

By some miracle she was able to lift the bastard clear off the ground and into the air.

She pulled back her sword. "AND THIS…IS FOR KILLING THE MAN I LOVE!"

There was a sickening *crunch* as the Ozai's plate armor ruptured and another *squelch* as the blade scrambled his guts.

Toph _slowly _pushed in the blade until the hilt was flush against his stomach.

There was a noise…loud and deafening…sounds of joy and shock…the pounding of feet, the ringing of falling swords and shields…but Toph didn't care. She wasn't listening. There was only _him._

She lowered the shaking Fire Lord down till her lips were at his ear.

"**Burn in ****_hell_****, whorespawn," **she whispered.

He was trying to lift his right arm – a last minute cry for help, one last pitiful reach for his dream–

Then his left arm suddenly wrapped around her back, crushing her to him, and his gauntlet was in her face, and she was being doused with the most _foul_ tasting liquid she'd ever had in her life – it seeped through her mail, covered her clothes and skin – it stung her eyes…stung like hell – the smell was so goddamn overpowering.

And as the life left his body, Ozai opened his fist and grinned.

A flint just barely jutted out from his wrist.

_But why would he…? _

And then she knew.

_"You know why they call him the 'Fire Lord,' right?" she said to Sokka._

_OH GOD NO. PLEASE NO._ _NOT LIKE THIS._

But he was holding her too tightly.

His final words chilled her to the bone. **"Burn ****_with_**** me you ****_worthless. Insignificant. _**_**CUNT."**_

He struck the flint across her mail.

The flint made sparks.

Toph's world ignited in red and white and fire and _pain._

She was falling, she was falling and everything was _burning_ and all she could do was scream and scream and scream.

_I love you Sokka. I love you. Sokka, if you can hear me I love you OH GOD, I lo-_

* * *

**Author's note: **This was not a fun chapter to write. For one thing, fighting sequences _are a_ _pain in the ass_. I consciously decided to write Ozai as more dickish and sexist than he was portrayed in the show - evil is fun, but not like this. And then of course…Sokka's death.

To be honest, you probably saw it coming a mile away (and if you didn't, that's fine too). But I couldn't have both Sokka and Toph survive the battle of Ba Sing Se and still have the story "ring true" as it were. It's been a very complicated, tragic love story from the get go, and while I love happy relationship outcomes as much as the next person, it didn't feel like this instance would be one of them.

Yes, I do feel like a right arsehole. But fear not.

In endings, there are beginnings, too.


	7. Moment of Truth

(**TW: **thoughts of suicide.)

**_Confront the here and now._**

* * *

_It begins as a whisper in the dark, an unreachable itching within infinite time and space._

_The whisper is weak, but its grasp is firm. _

_It begins to reach out, and other whispers emerge from emptiness. As each new voice is born, the whispers become murmurs and the murmurs become rumblings and the rumblings become shouts, then a din, then a cacophony, an unruly mass of noise and energy that can't seem to find any focus._

_It grows and grows and grows until it reaches an impenetrable barrier, but the thing will not be silenced and it keeps growing and pushing and fighting._

_The barrier cracks, then buckles, then shatters completely, and the thing rushes onwards and outwards, continuing to expand and fill the space (now seemingly less infinite) until at long last it strikes a nerve and the message registers._

**_WAKE. _**

**_WAKE. _**

**_WAKE._**

Toph opens her eyes and she sees nothing but the blackness of her heart reflected back at her.

When her brain finally comprehends the meaning of this, Toph starts to scream.

* * *

She can always tell when Aang and Katara come to visit. The wooden beads of his rosaries click and clack together; his footsteps are slow and light, and his wooden staff clacks against the ground. She smells of myrrh and poppy and bacui, and a dozen other things.

The witch always checks the dressings on Toph's burns, changes soiled linens and uncovers any skin that has finished healing, whatever its condition.

Toph learns that after Ozai set her ablaze she fell from the wall and smashed into the one of the nearby stables. While the pile of hay _inside_ the stable prevented the impact from killing her, there was nothing that could be done about the stable _roof_. The infirmary medics were still finding little slivers of wood in her bed sheets as her body pushed them out.

The fire had done an incredible amount of damage. Katara, in a credit to her extraordinary skills, had been able to save much of Toph's face, hands and feet from more serious scarring. The healing process, however, was going much slower than Katara expected (she attributes it to a broken heart, but did not share this theory). Toph's hair is a patchwork of tufts and seared scalp, but it will all grow back eventually. The rest of Toph's body is an ugly mass of black and red and pink tissue, some of which still has a chance to recover and some that is lost for good. And while Toph could still, in theory, hold a sword, Katara has no way of knowing how the scar tissue will affect her ability to wield it. And all of this says _nothing_ about her ability to walk.

She has not moved an inch ever since they brought her unconscious body into the sickroom.

* * *

Aang sits on the edge of her bed and quietly tells her stories of what has transpired in the six weeks she has lain asleep. When Toph killed the Fire Lord atop the wall of Ba Sing Se, his army, though greater in numbers, had laid down their swords and surrendered to the city's exhausted defenders. When the prisoners were questioned, Long Feng's treachery was revealed; the eunuch was found two weeks later and summarily executed for his crimes. The reinforcements of the King's Army arrived four days earlier than expected and lent their aid in the repair and restoration of the city. The work was far from complete, but it was expected that it would take no more than six months for Ba Sing Se to be back on its feet.

During one afternoon visit Toph finally works up the courage to ask Aang who Kuei named as the new Lord Commander of the King's Knights. There is a pause, and she can hear Aang shifting at the end of the bed.

"He didn't," he says softly. "Or rather, he couldn't."

"What? But…he's the king," says Toph, feeling utterly confused.

"As the Knights told him, 'we already have a commander, sir, and until she leaves that bed or God drags her home kicking and screaming, we will do exactly what she would expect us to do.'"

Toph wells up and turns her face away to hide her tears. "I should get some sleep," she says unconvincingly. "See you later, Twinkletoes."

Aang knowingly rises from the bed and, after giving her the most gentle of hugs, leaves her to her thoughts.

Never at any point does he broach the subject of Sokka. Nor does Katara. The three of them know better than to go down that particular road.

* * *

After a week-and-a-half of consciousness Toph has had enough. She wants out.

She tries to swing her legs out of the bed. They don't respond.

_Move!_ she shouts at her faulty limbs. _Move, damn you!_

It takes her twenty minutes to shuffle her legs over the side of the bed. Her feet touch the bare floor. The stone feels cool and dry beneath her soles.

She braces herself on her arms, willfully ignoring the searing pain coursing through them, and launches herself off the bed.

Her legs turn to flames underneath her, and Toph is falling and burning and screaming once more until the horrified maids rush in and return her to her bed.

Toph cries herself to sleep in agony.

But she will be more careful next time.

And she _will_ get stronger.

* * *

It starts with an apple.

She is tired of bread and soup and being fed like a picky five-year-old boy.

She blindly makes her way to the storeroom using nothing but sound and memory. Mercifully the door is unlocked, and Toph makes her way inside and down the rows to where the green ones are supposed to be kept. She feels out the biggest one and proceeds to bite down.

It nearly makes her sick, but she forces herself to wolf it down, to savor the juices flowing down her lips, and the annoying sensation of apple bits between her teeth.

She carries the core back to bed and hides it at the bottom of the rubbish bin.

The next night she steals some salted pork.

The night after that, she takes three blood oranges.

The fourth night is a failure as she's caught by a guard and summarily escorted back to bed.

The fifth night she liberates a whole barrel of leechi nuts and distributes it to her fellow patients.

The tales of her antics quickly spread across the infirmary.

They start calling her the Blind Bandit.

* * *

Including her unconscious state, Toph spends _three months_ inside the infirmary before she is _finally_ allowed to leave. In that time she has honed her ears and greatly improved her ability to sense the world around her – smells, tastes, distance, emotions – a whole realm of hypersensation that opened when her pupils permanently closed. Her memories of the city become even more crucial in helping her navigate the twisted roads and crowded sidestreets. But despite her protests of independence, Aang and Katara still insist on escorting her back to the Knights' training compound.

She soon discovers why. There's a surprise waiting for her.

She is greeted with an enthusiastic roar and she suddenly feels a throng of arms and hands as recruits, friends and comrades-in-arms swarm the commander, welcoming her back to the fold. There is a banquet held in the training courtyard and she is given a place of honor at the head of the table. She wants nothing more than to slink away into the hidden alcoves of the place but she is their commander, and they are grateful she's returned, so she dons the mask she wore as a child and smiles and waves and cheers and punches shoulders with no emotion behind her actions.

She hears the Duke yell for silence and a tense calm descends over the courtyard.

"We…we have something to show you, Commander," he says hesitantly. "We didn't mention it before, because…recruit Song, if you would please…"

The girl takes Toph by the hand and leads her between the tables to the center of the courtyard. "Hold out your hands please, commander." Toph does as she's told.

Song gently lifts Toph's hands upwards until her fingers touch metal. Toph traces her hands over the unfamiliar object until she realizes it has familiar features.

It takes all her strength not to collapse to the ground.

"We weren't going to do this till much later – there are _much_ more important things to take care of first – but the city blacksmiths got wind and demanded that we give them the sketches on pain of death…said they wanted it in place by the time you left the infirmary. It was cast from the discarded weaponry of Ozai's forces." Duke's voice falters. "He…_was_…" He nearly chokes on the word, "…a special man. An extraordinary man. A man of enduring strength, wit, and kindness. And…and he was greatly loved by us all."

There is a great cheer of praise and an even greater round of applause, and Toph turns her head in Duke's general direction to give a nod of thanks.

But no one believes Duke's last line for a second.

Everyone knows who "by us all" _really_ refers to.

* * *

She refuses to let anyone help her out the courtyard – she has to learn these things if she is to ever regain even a shadow of her former self. They inform her of the prepared room on the east wing's first floor and reluctantly take their leave. She gives her thanks and waits till their footsteps have faded away.

There is only one room she plans to sleep in tonight.

She fumbles her way to the Commander's suite, taking care to mind her footing on the stairs. She walks down the corridor, the pain of loss and the fear of memory screaming at her not to continue, but she presses on until she feels a familiar archway.

_I'm finally here. I'm finally home._

She feels her way around the room, which seems nearly untouched since the night of the battle, save for the bodies, of course. Every surface, every object, every inch of the room brings a treasured moment from the last two years to the forefront of her mind.

She touches a book with a thick leather binding: _The Adventurer's Guide to Gemstones_, which they'd used to appraise their remaining gemstones for the war fund.

From the drawers hangs a torn piece of silk, and Toph remembers the night where too much liquor convinced her to let him tie her up.

The table vase still holds fresh lotus blossoms, and even though she always complained about the expense he would still buy them because they were her favorites.

And as the voices inside her head reach a fever pitch, Toph gingerly sits down on the bed.

_The dam begins to crack._

They had laughed on this bed, fought on this bed, ate together, drank together, talked through the darkness of night into the pale gray of dawn, discussing strategy, philosophy, gossip, sharing stories of the day's adventures.

They made love in that bed almost every night, love fierce and strong and slow and sweet and perfect. They discovered something new about themselves each time, a new facet of their identities.

Titles and duties and demons had no meaning when they were joined together.

In that bed, it was just them, and only them.

Toph and Sokka.

_The dam bursts._

Toph screams and wails and scratches at the sheets and tears at the pillows until they explode in a flurry of down.

She pulls at what little hair she has left and curses at God and the universe and everything in it for all that she's suffered and lost.

Then the flood waters subside, and with her heart wrapped tightly in her grief, Toph sobs herself to sleep.

* * *

Only four people know about the cliff overlooking the sea. Aang, Katara and Toph bring the urn from Ba Sing Se. Hakoda, his silver mane dotted with patches of black, stares blankly out into the waves.

The wind smacks Katara's betrothal necklace against her skin, and when it subsides she carefully hands Sokka's ashes to Toph. "Just in front of you," Katara says softly.

Toph removes the lid and turns the jar over. The quiet rustle of Sokka's ashes seems as loud as a summer rainstorm in her ears.

The intendeds linger only for a moment, then disappear off along the icy plains.

"You can leave, Hakoda," says Toph. "I can find my way back to camp."

"No you won't," he replies. "You want to get lost."

She turns towards him. "How did you…?"

"Because I once felt the same way." He moves behind her and wraps his arms around her shoulders.

They stand together in silent solidarity till the sun dips below the horizon.

* * *

Toph can't believe that it's taking Katara five months to plan a wedding, or that she's being asked to _help_ plan the wedding, as if Katara has suddenly forgotten that Toph was never the marrying kind and that the only man she ever considered marrying has been dead for less than a year and oh, by the way, _she's blind_, and that _always _goes over well.

The pain **_rips_** through her abdomen and Toph doubles over.

Katara's argument with the palace cook stops. "Toph, what's wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing…nothing. Just a cramp. A really _strong_ cramp. Time of the month, and all that."

Ten minutes later it happens again, and this time Toph feels fluid running down her legs.

_I've never had my moon flow like this._

"Katara!" she yells. "Something's wrong! I think I'm bleeding! _Really _bleeding!"

Toph hears the frantic pounding of shoes against stone and then Katara is pushing her backwards until she bumps against a table. "Sit," she says, tugging at Toph's pants.

"Katara, I'm not sure that now's the best-"

"Everyone avert your eyes!" snaps Katara in her most commanding tone. Toph suddenly feels the cold rush of air against her womanhood; she can feel Katara's closeness. The witch pokes and prods the area just about her mound, sliding a hand up to feel the scarred bands of fat below her navel and muttering something incoherent before her hands freeze and she jumps back from Toph as though she'd just been burned.

"Katara, what's wrong?" pleads Toph fearfully.

"No, that can't be possible, the damage to your body…but that would explain the healing delay…"

"Katara, please, tell me what's wrong!"

"Toph," begins Katara, a quaver in her voice. "Please, _please_ tell me this…do you remember having your moon at any time during the last six months?"

Toph opens her mouth to answer in the affirmative and…

And…

_And._

"Oh my God," whispers Toph. "Oh my God oh my God oh my God."

"Someone call the palace doctors!" yells Katara to the kitchen staff. "Find me a clean room! And whatever you planned on using that boiling water for, forget it! It's mine, now! Toph," she says, he voice softer but still on edge, "you need to relax, and you need to _breathe_ for me, okay? _Relax and breathe._"

Toph can hear Katara barking off a list, calling for herbs and linens and a knife and some strange sounding thing, but she doesn't care: there is only the realization and the terror and _oh God, oh God, oh God __**this is really happening to her**__._

* * *

She can hear friends and physicians asking _how _and _when_ but Toph already knows the _how _and _when _of the tiny bundle of flesh in her arms, and after twelve hours she's _exhausted _and _really not in the mood_ for all this noise and speculation, she just _can't_.

She gathers enough strength to order them all out, and there's enough of the Lord Commander in her voice that even the physicians have the decency to leave (if only for a moment).

She looks down at the nameless little lump (even though she can't actually _see_ her, it makes her feel better), and contemplates the impossibility of it all.

She'd stopped taking her tea after the siege started; the herbs were needed for more valuable things: medicines, salves, and poulstices, substances for cleansing water and antidotes for poisons. Her moon blood had always been so irregular that half the time she forgot such a thing existed.

She had always been a poor excuse for a woman. An unnoticed pregnancy was just the crown jewel of her failings.

In her defense, though, Ozai had burned her to a crisp and she fell through a roof. No one could expect a growing seed to survive those conditions.

_What a little superbaby, _thought Toph with a grin.

So, her final night with Sokka had turned an ending into a beginning. Good for them.

But she can't do this. She can't _be_ this. She never wanted _this. _This isn't her. This was _never_ supposed to _be_ her. Wasn't it?

Iroh's gentle words come unbidden from her memory. _"It is an honorable thing to be a mother, to take care of children."_

Then she hears the words of a young, brash warrior sitting in a tavern. _"I'd make a terrible wife and an even worse mother. You've seen how I am with kids. I'm a fuckin' disaster."_

And then _he_ appears, his face just as lost and broken now as it was then.

_"I saw a chance to make someone happy. _Really, truly_ happy."_

_A chance at happiness. It's all he ever wanted for himself. It's all he ever wanted for _**me**_._

Toph is suddenly struck by purpose.

This is her daughter. Sokka's daughter. _Their _daughter…and now, their ultimate legacy.

_I need to want happiness again. _ _I need to want it for _her_. And not just for her sake…but for my own._

A name flashes into her mind almost as if someone placed it there, just waiting for her revelation to unlock it.

"Lin," she says, smiling at the newborn. "Lin Beifong. A perfect name for a perfect child." She closes her eyes. "Thanks, Snoozles. I owe you," she whispers. "And…"

As the tears fall from her eyes, she mouths three words. Just three.

Something _wonderful_ swirls around her heart and rushes through her soul, and Toph swears she can feel Sokka's spirit envelop her, brush phantom lips against her own, fill her being with a burst of joy and rapture.

And then the presence is gone, and she is alone with Lin. But no longer lonely.

The babe opens her mouth and begins to cry. And somehow Toph just _knows_ what she wants.

She unwraps her left breast and brings the tiny mouth to her nipple.

And so as Lin enjoys the first of many meals, Toph finally begins to heal.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Seven days and almost thirty thousand words later…I am completely drained. But it was totally worth it. It's been an invigorating exercise, writing this fic, to watch how it changed and evolved with every keystroke.

It is by no means perfect. I did this with no beta readers, no rewrites, and with the barest amount of editing. There are plots that should've been expanded, could've been expanded, but were only teased or dropped due to the time constraints I had. Even when I think I've caught all the typos and mistakes there will be three new ones that crop up.

I want to thank cabout once again for giving me permission to ruin/interpret her wonderful medieval world and use her artwork for this story.

I want to thank everyone who has left me feedback and encouragement to keep writing.

And I want to thank you, dear reader for sticking it out to the bitter(sweet) end of this tale. Hopefully the next Tokka story I write is a much sweeter, smuttier one. Until then Tokkaneers, stay strong and keep sailing. I'll see you topside.


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